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Archive for the tag “Top Ten list about men”

News Flash: Men are happier than women

It All Started with Eve…

The difference between the sexes is titanic. Men take a woman out on a date and afterwards ponder the

Big Three Questions:

  1.     Was she cute?
  2.     Was she fun?
  3.     And, did she flirt?

That’s all.

 

Women, on the other hand, during and after a date, mull, ponder, dwell and think way too much. As they do an instant replay of the evening they determine if their date was polite, fun, attentive, sweet, kind, flirty – but not overly so- and the list goes on. And, on.

 

When did this exhaustive female ‘Post Date Analysis’ start? What happened to, “Hey, that was fun. Let’s do it again. I’ll call.”

And he says, “Deal.”

 

Men Have Simple Needs: WD-40,

…a Swiss Army Knife, duct tape, a hammer, a tape measure, a barbecue, a remote control, a Giant’s winning streak, a Lazy-boy recliner and a few St. Pauli Girl beers and they are happy.

What’s in Your Wallet?

Men leave the house with keys, a money clip and their cell phone.

Conversely, women leave the house with a small suit case -called a handbag -with enough varied supplies to support a small nation. We have pens, paper, an assortment of cosmetics in two, tiny, smart-looking cases, a Phone, various To-do and shopping lists, a calendar, grocery coupons, mints and gum, a bottle of water, hair clips that can double as a weapon, a paperback for book club, an energy bar, a small vial of Advil, a magic stone, an extra pair of silver chandelier earrings- just in case, hand cleaner, tissues, a small bag with 6 almonds (Dr Oz’s idea) a sewing kit, band-aids, a metal nail file – can double as a weapon, a disposable camera, and a bottle-sample size- of perfume.

 

Be a Sport

To many guys, March Madness and Sunday Sports are of the be-all and the-end-all. Sports are like the full moon, the stars and the sky – their True North. It’s not the day to drag them to the mall and make them hold your suitcase-sized purse as you try on 15 pair of identical black slacks.

They crave, love, and relish Sunday Sports (and March Madness, World Series, the Super Bowl) be a sport – hand them the remote control, and they are happy. Voila!

 You Don’t Ask – You Don’t Get

And, men really want women to ask for what they want.  Cute,  little,  flirty subtle hints don’t work. Even loud hints don’t work. Call them primitive – it is obvious our soft, whimsical and nebulous little hints are not effective. Do the boys a favor and clearly state what you want.

Anyway and everyday: women simply want to know what men are thinking about (Answer: sex). We want to know what men dream about (Answer: sex). We ponder: when it comes to flight or fright what is the limbic system of the cortex of the brain of a man thinking about? (Answer: sex)

Conclusion: Men are happy and women are luckier for it.

Top Ten Reasons Men Are Happier

1.      Men have one wallet and one pair of shoes, which work for every season

2.      Chocolate is just another plain, ordinary, snack idea

3.      Men can keep the same hairstyle for years… even decades

4.      Men can play with toys (bikes, balls, cars, boats, planes) their whole lives

5.      Men can wear shorts no matter what their legs look like

6.      A  man’s last name never changes

7.      Men can choose whether or not to grow a mustache

8.      Men can “do” their fingernails with a pocketknife

9.      Men don’t have to stop and think which way to turn a screw.”Lefty…”

10.  A wedding dress costs about $5000 and a  tuxedo rental: $100

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