Dating at 50? Spring ahead

Who Me? Dating at 50?  Top Five Ways to Spring into Dating

It’s a well-known fact: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20.

Think about it: you are more interesting, smarter, and sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car. Come on in, the water is delicious.

You’re not alone. There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game.  We may be single-so-far and looking, suddenly single via divorce, or really ready for a relationship.

Like you, many singles are bored and lonely – we may have played too much Solitaire and are ready to play a rousing game of Hearts.  And flowers … and romance.

Top Five Ways to Spring into Dating

1. Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you look members of the opposite sex in the eye, smile and say “Hi.” Do this o five strangers – every single day.” Have fun – spring is in the air.  Start now.
2.  Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” It’s up to you – perform the ‘due diligence’ and find out where the action is (See: my columns: Top Ten Places to Meet Men and Women in Marin and San Francisco)   Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, Ping-Pong, or spelunking club. Try Tango! Thoroughly examine Meetup.com for hundreds of organizations in your zip code.
3. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie attitude. You know, life is short and why waste time? Throw off – (or gently remove)  that Shroud of Fear and relax into the singles playground. Tell your friends you are thinking about dating.4.
4. Be Brave.  So you are ready to start dating again? Want to get back in the saddle? Note: a virtual Greek chorus of friends and family may urge you, to get ‘Back on the horse.’  If you have images of a sweet pony-ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The 2013 foray may be a carnival ride – a-merry-go-round or  a Tilt-a-whirl – at first.
5. Research and sign up for an online dating site. Try a Free-7-Day Trial – which most big dating companies offer. You don’t need to write a thesis; answer the site’s questions simply,  succinctly with an authentic portrayal of you. Have fun. Yes, it may be exciting or make you very nervous – at first- enjoy the ride.

Some say,  “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”  But, a good ride.
Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel Date World 2013. It will be as fun as you make it.

TMI? Online dating profiles – slow down

Too much, too soon, too fast?

Writing an online dating profile – Too much information is a big turnoff

Sally Rand was the most famous fan dancer in the world.

She was the epitome of artful seduction and enticement. The provocative dancer appeared – briefly – on stage and deftly, slowly, swayed to classical music, hinting and flirting. She got big attention with strategic placement.

Sally Rand – her body of work – a parable

Rand was famous for her six-minute act. While bathed in blue light, the temptress stood on the stage, naked, seductively moving two seven-foot-long ostrich feathers in front of her body to the music of Debussy and Chopin. And the crowd went wild – needless to say. Leaving much to the imagination, she was irresistible and exciting. She said, “If you love living, you try to take care of the equipment.” She might have said, “Less is more,” which is the best advice for writing an online dating profile.

Rule #1. Your dating profile – keep it simple

Whether you are on your virgin voyage – writing your first online dating profile – or re-writing it for the tenth time, remember: Don’t tell all. Leave something up to the reader’s imagination. Coy and cute is far superior to cold, hard facts linked together like a shopping list. You may be very proud of your car, career, cats, kids, kayaking prowess, stamp collecting or church choir debut. Merely listing these attributes or accomplishments is dull times three.

And, yes, it’s great your kid just graduated from an Ivy League school – however, all that bragging about your offspring (a la Pimp My Kid) might just as well be mentioned later. Every day, there is a new parade of hopeful romantics who sign up for Match, JDate, and Perfect Match and Plenty of Fish – your goal: grab attention, quietly.

Don’t try this at home

Remember: Quirky isn’t cute; it’s been done and it’s a bore.The 2001 photograph of you dressed as a French maid or peeking over a fan may garner the wrong kind of attention. And, writing your profile – from your dog’s point of view – may have been funny for a sixth-grade assignment, but not at this juncture.

Bragging about your myriad accomplishments – medals, trophies, clubs – wait on that.

Blasting and attacking your ex – delete immediately. Pimp your kids? Photos and news of your kid’s accomplishments – skip it.

It’s all about you.

Take the time to look at what other people your age are writing … some will inspire, others will bore, some may spark your attention. It’s called ‘comparitive shopping’ and it works.

Bravo for you – and have fun as you navigate the waters of the dating pool.

May you have many fans.

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” — Mae West

You, too, can learn how to fan dance.

Top ten ways to get your Valentine’s Day mojo moving

Valentine’s Day is a sugar rush for See’s Candy

and for Hallmark cards.

Florists are in seventh heaven with dozens of acres of red roses bought and sold this week.

What about the rest of us, sweetheart?

Remember: Valentine’s Day is about happy hearts, hugs, flirting, wearing all shades of red, pink and crimson.  February 14^th is the one day of the year we can “Blame it on Cupid” while we gather up courage to flirt early and flirt often.

Top Ten Ways to Get your mojo moving and in the mood for Valentine’s Day

1. Say ‘hi’ to that cutie you see every day
2. Smile at strangers
3. Send Valentines wishes (roses are red, violets are blue, meet me at…)
4. Invite a ‘hearty’ acquaintance to join you for a walk through the Presidio – and a drink at Presidio Social Club
5. Wear red – all week long
6. Buy “Big Hunk” candy bars for all your girlfriends. Give away Hershey kisses
7. Text, twitter, e-mail, and nudge your friends on Face book: reach out and hug someone
8. Make Valentines; check out Free Range Stock for fabulous photos
9. Meet at the beauteous Palace of Fine Arts  Learn about San Francisco hero,  Walter Johnson, who saved the once dilapidated – now most romantic -landmark
10. Invite a small group to meet at Amoeba Records, agree upon a romantic comedy DVD; have dinner and Sangria at Cha-Cha-Cha ; watch the movie with red wine and red velvet cupcakes, Sweet!
11. Send everyone you know a simple “I love you” message -pay it forward
12. Create a CD of all your favorite romantic love songs – share – Besame Mucho!

Everyone loves to be remembered on Valentine’s Day.

Buy yourself flowers

Have a happy healthy heart!

Best advice for online dating: Keep it simple, sweetie

KISS: Your Dating Profile

Whether you are on your virgin voyage – writing your very first online dating profile – or re-writing it for the tenth time, avoid TMI (too much information.)

  Leave something up to the reader’s imagination.

Coy and cute is far superior to a barrage of cold, hard facts linked together like a shopping list. Okay, so you are proud of your car, career, cats, kids, kayaking prowess, philately or church choir debut. Merely listing these attributes or accomplishments is dull times three.

And, yes, it’s great your kid just graduated from an Ivy League school – however, all that bragging about your offspring (a la Pimp My Kid) might just as well be mentioned later. Every day, there is a new parade of hopeful romantics who sign up for Match, JDate, and Perfect Match and Plenty of Fish – your goal: grab attention, quietly.

Don’t try this at home

Remember: quirky isn’t cute; it’s been done and it’s a bore. The 2001 photograph of you dressed as a French maid or peeking over feather duster may garner the wrong kind of attention. And, writing your profile – from your dog’s point of view – may have been funny for a sixth-grade assignment, but not at this juncture.

Bragging about your myriad accomplishments – medals, trophies, and clubs? Slow down and wait on that. Finally, thinking about blasting or attacking your evil Ex?  Fuggedaboutit. No one wants to hear about your divorce – or your colonoscopy. Seriously.

It’s all about you.

Take the time to look at what other people your age are writing. Review the profiles of people your own age.  Check out the competition. Some dating profiles will inspire, others will bore, and some may spark your attention. It’s called ‘comparative shopping,’ and it works.

So, bravo for you – and have fun as you navigate the waters of the dating pool.

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” — Mae West

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com. Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

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All Page Larkin Dating@50 Examiner articles © 2012 by Page Larkin; reposts permitted

 

Men at 50- confused and crazed by women at 50

Inquiring Men Want to Know: This week brings questions from men about serial dating, flirting and frustration. I endeavor to answer the questions as best as I can. Send your questions, queries, and quibbles to 50datesexaminer@gmail.com

Dear Page

My friends say I’m like the guy in the movie Network who screams “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” I’m really frustrated. I have been on three different dating sites in three years. No luck. I keep meeting women who send old photos, who lie about their age and smoking and who don’t seem to have an Emotional IQ   Is it me?

Just like Peter Finch

Dear Just Like Peter Finch,

While nobody said it was going to be easy, online dating should be fun, at best. Sorry to hear about your tribulations. Don’t give up.  Be more direct in your profile stating an interest in self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, and the ability to love. Try again.

Peace, Page

Dear Page Larkin,

I’m 63, retired, divorced, healthy and look and feel the best ever. My new girlfriend is 55 and  hot. There is one drawback: she’s what you call a serial dater. She’s a gal with the ‘kennel of doggie bags in the refrigerator. She goes out almost every night- not with me. She is only free on Wednesday nights. Am I wasting my time?

Berkeley Bob

Dear Berkeley Bob,

If you are “girlfriend” is dating three other men each week, sit down; she’s just not that into you. She is obviously playing the field and, Bob, you’re not on her roster. It’s time to move on, and try greener pastures-you deserve better.

Peace, Page

Hey, Larkin,

I read your piece about ‘Men are like Champagne.’ Well, my experience says women are like eels. You can’t get a handle on them and they get away.

Morgan Hill Mike

Hey, Morgan,

Good point. There are 1 million stories ‘in the dated city’ and just as many metaphors. Following the whole fishing metaphor: I’d say the more lines you put in the water, the better your luck. See: Dating 101: Catch and Release. Have fun out there. Remember, online dating is a number’s game – and you have to get in the game to win.

Peace, Page

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at 50datesexaminer@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- Click, click, Click the Subscribe button.

All Page Larkin Dating@50 Examiner articles © 2011 by Page Larkin; reposts permitted with copy written notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved.

Daters: Beware the hoax – and the hustle

PILTDOWN MAN  was the hoax of the century.

However, the famous Kurt Vonnegut MIT commencement speech,   Wear Sunscreen, has to be right up there with the Top 10 Internet Hoaxes. Vonnegut is famous for his writing, especially: Slaughterhouse Five and Breakfast of Champions. Both were mandatory reading in the ‘70’s for members of the Boom Boom Generation.

Vonnegut, an icon and a hero, supposedly delivered the 1997 speech at MIT.

It was a shopping list of life’s lessons filled with glib advice and pithy pointers on living well and coloring outside the lines:

1. Do one thing every day that scares you.
2. Sing.
3. Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
4. Floss.
5. Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
6. Remember compliments you receive.
   
7. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
8. Keep your old love letters.
   
9. Throw away your old bank statements.

10. Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.

Unlike many commencement speeches, the clever discourse both resonated and inspired. Myriad copies of the speech flew around the world via e-mail and bounced off one country and ricocheted back. In reality, the piece was written by a well known, highly respected, columnist by the name of Mary Schmich of the Chicago Tribune. For a long while, as the hoax simmered and sparked, Schmich received zero credit for her well constructed, witty, life’s lessons. Another life’s lesson: you can’t believe everything you read.

Caveat Emptor- in Dating World

As you meander through a forest of on line dating profiles, remove your rose colored glasses. Learn the all important skill of reading between the lines. Remember the funny and fowl line: if it looks and quacks like a duck- he is not a prince in shining armor. Truth is divine. Dance like no one is watching.

Buyer Beware.

Tell me about it. Have you been hoaxed or punk’d?

Top Ten Romantic Places to Kiss in San Francisco

The Top 10 Romantic Places

in San Francisco

Everyone knows the San Francisco is the consummate romantic Mecca and there are dozens of romantic places to buss/smooch/osculate and kiss

The Top 10? After much research ~ I can heartily attest:

1. The Top of the Stairs at Broadway and Lyon – the view, alone, will take your breath away. It’s a secret place, off the beaten track and and it inspires romance.

2. Under the Clock of the Ferry Building

The Golden Ghetto ~ on Saturday mornings ~ the sight of the famous Farmer’s Market. See the aubergine and tangerine, enjoy quaffing champagne, or sample at the Caviar Bar, select divine picnic items, revel in the sweet smells of butter, sugar and cinnamon wafting from the numerous bakeries, indulge in a Blue Bottle coffee…enjoy the towers of stunningly beautiful fresh flowers, and gaze at the Cowgirl Creamery cheeses…walk along the water …Everything is pretty darn seductive and suggestive. Can you say: An Affair to Remember?

3. The corner booth at The Grand Café (Geary and Taylor) It’s all about location, location, location. Sexy, seductive, alluring and private. Ambiance. Fabulous hors d’ oeuvres and great mixologists.images

4. The Make Out Room named appropriately, you don’t need another clue. Stimulating venues.

5. The Tonga Room At the Fairmont ~Nob Hill. Yum~ Drinks with tiny umbrellas – tropical atmosphere and It’s like the Tiki Room without the birds~ Nowhere else in San Francisco can you kiss in the rain forest.

6. Sweet – As you leave divine and sublime XOX truffles in North Beach- with a small box of San Francisco’s real “treat” ~The quality and richness of the 27 unforgettable tiny chocolate kisses – and yummy flavors are sure to entice~

7. Palace of Fine Arts San Francisco’s most majestic and remarkable shrine…originally created for the 1915 World’s Fair by the incredible visionary Bernard Maybeck …near the columns, under the statues of weeping women, at the lagoon or undulating grassy area.

8. Golden Gate Bridge, anytime of the day ~ must be midspan…even with the infamous summer fog and wind whipping about – The GGB is one of the City’s most romantic and frantic destinations.

9. The Pier – Crissy Field, the only pier pressure, you will find us from your gull-friends swooping overhead. 360 degree views …Crashing waves, frothy white caps, sometimes blue skies and a breathtaking skyline.

10. The Conservatory of Flowers in Golden Gate Park the spun sugar palace, replica of Kew Gardens, is all good things: sultry- sexy and steamy. Bonus ~Beautiful flowers in abundance. A Must: Buss behind the begonias…

So, get on the buss~ Everyday is Valentine’s day in Romantic San Francisco~~~

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination.”      Albert Einstein

Flirting? Top 12 – Best Pick Up Lines

There are no rules when it comes to using Pick Up Lines – all the world is a stage – and both girls and boys get to play.

Once upon a time…a long time ago, there were two, and only two, tried and true Pick Up Lines: “Do you come here often?” and “What’s your sign” were once the holy grail of  Pick Up Lines. And, believe it or not: they worked. 

Now the bar has been raised at the bar,  the cafe, the courts. Everywhere. Creativity breeds content. Women are just as entitled and expected to extend an opening line.

Twelve Pick Up Lines, including a clunker, a loaner, a groaner and a few fast ones.

1. Don’t I know you?
2. Have we met? Would you like to?
3. Sorry, I have to ask, How was heaven when you left it?
4. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.
5. Excuse me, if I followed you home, would you keep me?
6. What time do you have to be back in heaven?
7. Are you going my way?
8. Did we go to school together? I could swear…
9. May I have directions, please? (“To where?”) To your heart.
10. Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And, whoa,  I’m lost at sea.
11. Pardon me. Are you religious? Because you are the answers to all my prayers.
12. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.

Try one – try them all.  What do you have to lose? Pick up lines and ice breakers are a means to an end – create your own – and have fun while playing the dating game.

Under the speed limit – send me your best line: page.larkin@gmail.com

San Francisco Dating  docent  Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at 50datesexaminer@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column-

San Francisco Party boy quits the dating game?

Mitch, the famed Party Boy, of six parties a week,

would glide into a room to a sea of handshakes and a cyclone of air kisses.  If you looked up the word bon vivant in the dictionary, Mitch’s picture would be there: a tall, dark, handsome party boy.

Divorced for a dozen years he was on the party circuit.  He was the party circuit. Jealously, his friends dubbed him, ‘Scout.’  In jest, women called him Casanova. Yes, there’s an ounce of truth in all jest. At one time in his life, Mitch was famously flirting or hot to trot; now, the only thing haute he was after was cuisine.

Give Up the Chase?

After years of the hunt – catch and release -and after one too many first dates – Mitch decided to throw in the towel. Not only did he throw in the towel, but also he laundered, folded, and put the towel away.

He did something none of his friends had done before: he gave up the chase. He reconciled to be a bachelor – forever.

He was lucky to have a plethora of female friends. There were women he went to movies with, women he hiked with, and a couple other women he went with to shows and dinner. In the grand scheme, there wasn’t one single woman to whom he was attracted.

Along Comes Sally

And then Mitch met met Sally. They noticed one another in line at a weekday matinee. Both were going to see “Of Gods and Men”There were only a handful people in the theater – and its the kind of movie you just have to talk about afterwards. After the movie credits, they walked out together and started talking.

They walked next door to Starbucks and discussed the movie, world politics, other favorite movies, books and life – for two hours. Mitch suggested they move their discussion few blocks away to Pesce on Polk Street And that was the beginning – a chance meeting – a year ago.

After a lousy experience on Perfectmatch.com,  Eharmony and Craigslist, Sally had sworn off men. She had no intention of ever again playing the dating game. Then, when she least expected it, she met her date for life. It happens. 

Remember: Be open to new experiences. Talk to strangers- flirt early and flirt often.

Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach and dating docent offers a 3-hour Inspired Dating Workshop

“Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving” in San Francisco

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com.

Absolutely what not to wear at 50: playing dress up?

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.

Yves Saint Laurent

Prolific Romance writer, Danielle Steel, complains vehemently

that

women in San Francisco don’t dress well.

In a Wall Street Journal article she commented that San Franciscans all look that they are ready ‘to go camping.’  She said that City Girls were simply too casual – tromping about in hiking boots and shorts. Truth in all jest?

Take that off: it’s not Halloween and you’re not 15

Okay, so the Steve Urkel nerdy-look (fake, over-sized, glasses with plastic black frames, tight flood pants, plaid shirts and striped T-shirts, Beatle boots) is de rigueur for the teens and 20’s in San Francisco. Even GQ has a new stable of teen models – wearing yellow shoes, “pegged” plaid plants and hats half-cocked. Kids! You’ve got to love them- not dress like them.

Dress Your Own Age

Ashley, 20-something, complains that her mother (49 and holding) dips into her closet and borrows her clothes- including her Uggs, Crocs, hoodies, and Jeggings. In an effort to stave off Father Time and Mother Nature, Mom tries to dress down a decade. Or two.

Not a Good Look-At your Age

Miniskirts, T-shirts and belly-button displays –those days are over, Binkie. Skin-tight tops, hip-hugging-for-life jeans, which don’t fit – sorry, Sally. That ship has sailed. The cold hard truth: a plus-sized body – or a mother pushing 50: back away from your daughter’s closet.  Ms. Steel would agree.

If Nobody Will Tell You

Never ask a sales clerk, “Do these $200 jeans and this $300 top make me look young?”  What clerk, on commission, is going to say, “Ma’am this is the Junior’s department, you should in the Mature or the Big Mama’s department, I’m just saying.”?

Take a look at the much celebrated TV Show, “What Not to Wear” Then hit the library and peruse a copy  of How Not to Look Old. Remember, Oprah? She still is offering advice about dressing up and dressing your age.

Say Au Revoir, Good bye, Adios, and Ciao to the Oldies – Not Goodies

• Souvenir T-shirts
• T-shirts with anything written on them
• Overalls
• Ripped jeans or acid-washed jeans
• Shoulder pads
• Overalls
• Flannel shirts
• Muumuus
• Elastic-waist pants
• Granny panties

Finally, let it be known: there is a moratorium on all Holiday sweaters (pumpkins, Santa, reindeer, teddy bears)

“Fashions fade, style is eternal. Yves Saint Laurent

Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach and dating docent offers a 3-hour Inspired Dating Workshop

“Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving”

in San Francisco
Saturday, October, 13 10 AM to 1 PM
Cost: $85
Limit: eight to a class
Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List

(more information with Enrollment)

an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire

to get in the dating game to play and win.
Enroll at Page.Larkin@Gmail.com