Suddenly Single… Minded

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Archive for the tag “personal ads”

Personal Ads: San Francisco vs New York – worlds apart?

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The top of the line, tres cher, New York Review of Books Personal Ads run somewhere around $100 – $200.

If you  you are on budget – do you dare  try a ‘Free” Dating site?   Absolutely!

Free: Everyone’s Favorite Price

One reason Craigslist is so popular is the price: free. Do you get what you paid for? Like Plenty of Fish and OkCupid, the two other leading free dating sites, the ‘free factor’ does attract tens of thousands of people. All kinds of people: some serious, some voyeurs, some bored marrieds – looking for a lark or a tryst, and a lot of some brand new to dating who are testing the waters.

Craigslist and the  “Anonymous Factor”

The vast majority of posters on Craigslist refrain from posting a photo. And, frankly, one never knows if the information posted is authentic or accurate. Be aware: there are those dullards who troll and trawl the halls of Craigslist – sending off an inane comment – in a hit and run fashion. Avoid engaging with these dead ends.

You Ought To Be In Pictures

You will quickly learn the phrase, “Your pic gets mine” is part of the site’s vocabulary and a good modus operandi. Exchanging a current photo with a potential date is expected. Passing off that old photo of you from 10 years ago, or a photo of you clad in a hat, sunglasses, taken from afar – not a good idea. Why waste time being coy and inauthentic? Have a friend take several photos of you – and develop a small collection of great photos for online dating purposes.

It Only Takes a Minute…

To place a Craigslist ad requires little time and a little imagination. Typical ads on Craigslist are 50 words – or less.  Best advice? Choose your words carefully and take your time. Try it once or twice, or not at all.

Research: Spend some time looking at Craigslist ads in three different cities- for instance, San Francisco, New York City and Des Moines. Take the best – leave the rest.

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California Girls:

The following is a sampling of ads placed by “Women ages 50 to 70 looking for Men in San Francisco” – (mildly edited to alleviate boredom)

Women Seeking Men 50-70

·    I am a talker … need a ‘listener‘ Looking for someone to be a ‘spiritual coach’ and I the same to the other so we both can get to the HIGHER realms and enter into heaven. Of course, dating, but we’ll know when the Chemistry strikes!

·   I am mellow. I am divorced, have a 17-year-old daughter. I am at a point in my life where I will have lots of free time. I want someone to share this time with. I enjoy just being with someone special–shopping for food, cooking, hanging out in the yard and/or visiting with friends

·   Want: nice, witty, fun loving, gentleman for summer activities. Hello there. I gave it some thought and decided, yeah, why not put an add in. Beats spending the summer alone. I like walks, talks, the beach, barbeques, and baseball, Frisbee, camping and fishing. You?

·    Together I should soon find you… to do it with often. You are a swm, 49+, healthy, fun, out going, caring. Yes to 420,smoking, drinking. You and I can enjoy getting to know each other… We will want to know if we are good together soon and start enjoying often.

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East Coast Girls are Hip?  New York

Perhaps California girls are more languid and extravagant with expansive thoughts…Women in New York seem to have a whole different vibe when it comes to writing their Craigslist Personals:

New York Women Seeking Men 50 – 70 Sample Craigslist ads

  • I have EFS  I am 5’4, 110 lbs. I was born abroad, but won’t say where because of ethnic fetish syndrome. I am a youthful 51 looking for a man in age range 45-60. Although I am beautiful, pretty, and cute – it’s really up to you.
  • I have a shopping list for you: What is most important is that you are very intelligent, for I have an active mind. You should be driven and achievement-oriented. You should be insight-oriented and consistent. I hope you make me laugh.
  •  I am a Siren – hear me roar: ‘I’m sure other women post that they are all “angels”, and want a man who can appreciate them, I know better. Sure, I can be a siren, a vixen, a temptress, and a flirt; step aside wallflowers, this girl is the real deal. I don’t even need a push-up bra.. my witty-yet- sarcastic brain and my multi-talented way, win you over.
  •    No to Drama- Yes to Nike: Moi, suddenly single wf, done with the drama. Re-thinking monogamy are you? When faced with all things tempting – Nike says: just do it. I will fulfill your needs. You will be satisfied.

Many happy people have connected on Craigslist.

Don’t hurry. Exchange the emails, speak on the phone – at length- ask questions and, if there is a comfort level established,  meet for coffee in a very public place.

It’s an experience and remember,  no matter what the price: buyer beware.

test your smoke alarm

“Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing

Oliver Wendell Holmes

 

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column-  hit the nefarious Subscribe button at the top of the page.

Personal Ads? Do they work? At what cost?

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Charline: 45, single-and-looking.

She lives in a very small town nestled in the redwoods in Southern Oregon.  An English major who loves the Pacific Northwest and the Arts,  she subscribes to the New York Review of Books.  Last year, she decided try the NYRB Personal ads.

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For months, she had been amused and intrigued by the ads and – in a c’est le guerre kind of mood – she crafted a succinct and attractive ad.

An expensive venture ($5.00 will buy you one word) Charline ponied up $150 for a 30-word ad and sat back. Who would respond? Nick in Brooklyn, Clive in New Haven?, JohnE Be Good in San Francisco?
The ad ran for one week and produced a beguiling response from Mark D;

Quelle surprise:  he lived 15 miles away.  They met, they clicked, and have been together ever since. It happens.

Personal ads – avoid dangling your participles.

When you are paying a hefty $5 per word for a Personals ad, one tends to  choose their nouns carefully. On the other hand, if you are writing a Craigslist ad – free of charge – you might be a little less discreet about your word choice and message.

How much does that love letter cost?

Here are  two NYRB samples (She wrote/He wrote)

Note: Ads are mildly edited for the sake of the singles. COST: NYRB Personals - Hers: over $500.00  His:  over $750.00

She writes:

Hello, darling: Me: sexy, sophisticated striking natural beauty and completely real at the same time. Adventurous, curious; artist, low-key humanitarian, trailblazer. Fun loving, athletic. Slender, lean, really cute…unassuming playful smile. Nature, outdoors-lover. Appreciator of beauty, creativity, spontaneity, delights in exploration, Passionately loves skiing, hiking, sailing, New England, photography, architecture. Great cook, great conversationalist …Crazy about making a difference, giving back… Seeking adventurous, verbal, secure, man, 45–59, values generosity, authenticity. You pic gets mine.

He writes:


BLUE-EYED, TALL, SLIM, late 50s, City Boy—More Ryan Reynolds meets Ed Norton than Tom Cruise meets Vin Diesel. Educated at Harvard and New Haven… working with non-profits and on Wall Street. Passionate about music and even played in Carnegie Hall; enjoy: hiking, biking, yoga, tennis, art, gourmet food and wine, and black-tie dinners …reading, stimulating conversation and cooking…my tastes range from punk to ballroom…Attracted to lithe figures and dynamic personalities, reading, stimulating conversation and cooking. Love to travel and have lived abroad.. Looking for LTR and kids with a woman  20 years my junior  who is spiritual yet grounded. Please send letter and photo to: Box 007

Tomorrow: Craigslist; It’s free: do you get what you paid for? or more?

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