Feeling clueless? Need to brush up on your dating etiquette? Take a hint:
Page Larkin’s Top Five Online Dating Etiquette Tips:
1.) Respond, sil vous plait or, You talkin to me? The biggest complaint heard from online daters is about the lack of response. Hey kids, here’s the rule: if somebody takes the time to drop you a polite email of interest – you have a responsibility to answer back. (Note: If the message is wacky, bizarre or peculiar- or the person sending it appears to be all of the above, you need not reply- simply delete and move on.)
However, new dater, if you receive an email from someone – okay, maybe not your ideal mate – maybe not even close – but he or she took the time to write. Your job? Write back. Not a tome – not a poem – a simple message along the lines of, “Thanks, we are not a match – good luck in your pursuits.” That’s all. Simple and sweet.
2.) Behave…Can You Please Say Thank You? The men have spoken and complain loudly and frequently that some women barely utter a “Thanks” after a date. Hello, ladies? Are you Ms Manners or missed manners?
3.) Hit-and-Run Knowing full well that online dating is truly a numbers game, (See Catch and Release in the Coy pond) there are some who send out a dozen “winks” every day.
What is a wink? A wink is the lowest form of online social connection. It requires little time or effort. It involves the wannabe dater to click a tiny icon, which sends a message to the recipient, indicating absolutely no effort made. How popular is a wink? Many online dating profiles start with, “No winks, please.” Translated: “Come on, and make the effort to write at least one cogent sentence.”
4.) Talk, Talk, Talk – The Biggest Buzz-kill. Okay, so you are fascinating and you don’t mind telling everyone. The non-stop talker is the biggest buzz kill on a first date? Yes, it is okay to be nervous. It’s okay to be chatty. It’s a mortal sin to blather on and neglect asking questions. Save the monologue for a Stand-Up Routine.
5.) The Houdini Disappearing Act: Pouf! They are gone. So you‘ve exchanged a half-dozen emails – you share many of the same “likes,” and seem to have a little chemistry- and boom! They are gone. Not a word: text-email-note-nada.
What’s up with that? Did their spouse find them playing on the computer – with you? You wonder if the other person is a player? Or just plain rude. If, at any juncture, the chemistry isn’t there – politely bow out of the conversation with a well meaning, “Thanks for the conversation, enjoyed it and wish you all the best.”
Can’t we all just get along? Be nice. According to Greater Good in Berkeley – being kind –(polite) – will make you happy.
“Be polite; write diplomatically; even in a declaration of war one observes the rules of politeness.” Otto Von Bismarck
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