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Archive for the tag “Page Larkin Date Guide”

Deja vu all over again? Online dating: round two

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Déjà vu dating or This all looks so familiar?

After a two year sabbatical from the Wide Wonderful World of Internet Dating, Carol decided to consult with Wolfgang, the “Psychic to the Stars.” Should she try dating again? Divorced for five years, she had already been the Poor Little Match.com girl once, enjoyed a flurry of first and second dates, met a passel of men and made a lot of “friends.” And, then she met Ralph.
He had an Altar Ego

She and romantic Ralph dated for three very intense months. It took that long for her to fully realize he was in a huge rush to the altar. Any altar – with any one. It was too much, too soon, too fast for her. They parted amicably. She dodged a bullet.

She booked an appointment with the psychic and was finally seated across from the famous Wolfgang; a small, marble-topped, table between them. After shuffling an over-sized deck of faded and worn Tarot cards, he had her select seven cards. He looked at the cards, briefly. Without missing a beat he said, “Darling, Internet dating, really? You will be fishing in the same pond.”

She looked at him quizzically and as he scooped up the cards with a flourish, he said, “It will be all the same men, darling.” No, no, say it isn’t so!

Carol, known to be a wee bit cynical, is also an optimist in all things romantic. She defied the prediction and defiantly climbed aboard the Dating Train. It had been awhile; she wasn’t sure of the new rules, the quicker pace, current buzzwords and the dating site’s shiny, new bells and whistles.

Stepping on a treadmill that was ‘on’ at full speed?

Like a blast from the past,

Carol had a surreal feeling of deja vu. She quickly realized old Wolfgang made a point. Here she was again, and – a veritable parade of very familiar male faces danced before her on the computer screen. Here were the same old pictures of the guys from before. And, magically, none of them had aged! They were all still 50- and she was two years older!

She scanned the photos and realized a ton of these guys hadn’t even updated their pictures. She remembered the winkin, blinkin’ and nods involved in the on-line dating dance. She could do this. Game on.

Looking for a Few Good Men?

She decided this time around she wasn’t going to sit back and wait for Mr. Right to approach her. She was a girl from the Midwest, a region known for their outgoing, friendly, demeanor. No wallflower action this time around. She would be out going, and going out. She planned to contact one man a day, for one week, and see what kind of luck she had.

This time around, Carol intends to get in the game and pay attention to the red flags.

Are you curious and open enough to try the online dating game?

Contact me, page.larkin@gmail.com for a 30-minute consultation.

Dating at 50-70… A Workshop for Women- get your Mojo moving – now.

 

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The Bore Wars or Top 10 ways to ruin a date

Spelling Game says Help Me

The Top 10 Ways to Ruin a First Date

  1. Arrive late

  2. Fail to apologize for tardiness

  3. Have just eaten loads of garlic

  4. Leave your dark glasses on

  5. Snap your fingers for waiters attention

  6. Monopolize the conversation with your favorite topic: you

  7. Use lewd and lascivious language loudly

  8. Make and take cell phone calls during date

  9. Forget your wallet and ask to borrow $10

  10. Gushing with garlic, upon departure say, “Dude, this has been cool… I’ll call you.  Don’t get your hopes up…”

“There’s no excuse to be bored. Sad, yes. Angry, yes. Depressed, yes. Crazy, yes. But there’s no excuse for boredom, ever.”

Viggo Mortensen

No L-o-v-e? Facebook says Christmas is break up time

Tis the season to be jolly  HOWEVER, According to Facebook, it’s the War of the Roses time and breaking up is de rigueur.

Research done by the elves at Facebook reveals that Christmastime can be called ‘Merry EX-miss.’

Single and Afraid of Another Silent Night?

Finding yourself suddenly single can make the Christmas holiday a totally new, sometimes unsettling experience. These can be the times that try men’s and women’s souls, stamina, and spirit. 

Business Insider reveals that David McCandless did the due diligence on ‘Yuletide dating and breaking up’ by examining trends on Facebook. Research indicates breaking up at the holiday season is a so-called tradition.

Blue Christmas, indeed. And, you don’t even want to know about Mondays.  Is there really such a thing as Empirical evidence from Facebook? Who says if it’s from Facebook, it’s got to be true?

If your December dilemma

Once you were  half-of-a-couple, now you find yourself flying solo – what do you do? Get off the couch, push away from the computer and go out and play. Wear red. Listen to Christmas carols. Invest in mistletoe and wear a sprig on your lapel or on your hat.  

Scour the San Francisco Chronicle for events, read Marin’s Pacific Sun  for fun events; read Johnny Fun Cheap.

 Say ‘yes’ to every invitation to go out; go dancing; see the beautiful decorations on Union Square; master the art of making latkes; learn the words to ‘Mele Kalikimaka‘; throw a Christmas party – at home, with friends, in a small café or a pub.

Got Dates?

A passel of people (see movie Love Actually) who find themselves in the dreaded  ‘kiss-free mistletoe zone’  actively seek out sweethearts for the season. These pro-active romantics re-up on Match.com, Craigslist, Eharmony, or Plenty of Fish.

Follow suit: they smile and say, “Merry Christmas” to everyone – especially at Trader Joe’s, Bryan’s, Safeway and default to jolly and bright.

Some say ‘lose the Santa hat’ and lead with a hearty “Merry Christmas.”

(Don’t waste one minute debating the PC-ness of wishing everybody a “MC”)

And, don’t let a Facebook statistic get in the way of having a holly-jolly holiday.

Your mother was right: Go outside and play!

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com

Top 10 tips on getting along with single men

Spelling Game tiles spell out Help MeDo Suddenly Single women really need a  

“Getting Along with Guys Guidebook?” Absolutely!

Fact: Most Dating, Mating, How-to-flirting rulebooks are written by women.

Finally,  Mr. Anon, a Manly Man,  has taken the time to create “Top 10 Tips: Getting Along with Men:  the Manly Man Point of View.”

The original manuscript, written in pencil on a piece of binder paper had few real scholarly pretensions. Through time, various readers felt compelled to enhance and embellish the edicts. Now we know: what men are really thinking.

The Top Ten Rules for Getting Along with Guys:

1. ESPN not ESP: Men are not mind readers. We are rugged, brawny, handsome and handy – we just don’t have the ESP gene – spell it out, sweetheart.

2. Sunday Sports are of the highest importance. They’re like the full moon, the stars and the sky – our True North. It’s not the day to drag us to mall and make us hold your suitcase-sized purse as you try on 15 pair of identical black slacks. We crave Sunday Sports – be a sport – and just hand us the remote control.

3. Don’t Mall Me: Shopping is not a sport. No amount of cajoling, kidding, or kissing is going to make us think of it that way.

4. Ask for what you want: Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work. Strong, loud, hints don’t work. Call us primitive– it is obvious your soft, whimsical and cute little hints are not effective. Do us both a favor, and clearly state what you want.

5. Final Answer: ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. We are succinct…especially during TV commercials.

6. Talk to the Girls: Come to us with a problem only if you really want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy, gossip, chatting – are what your wonderful girlfriends are for, right?

7. Memories: Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and Void after seven days.

8. Weighty Issues: If you think you’re fat, you might be – or you are looking for a compliment… and reassurance…first check a mirror, and then come to us…and, never on a Sunday.

9. Lost in Translation: If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we really meant the other one. Honest.

10. Commercial Value: Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the TV commercials. Big points for you!

And, for the record: About us Following our Bliss?  Look, Christopher Columbus didn’t ask for directions and pride prevents us from breaking the mold. Work with us—that’s why God invented maps and GPS.

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com. Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button.

Kick start your dating profile today

Pink20140127-2Get Smart! Get off the couch and into the dating game

Fact: an online dating profile with the same old photo, same old write up and dated favorites is dead in the water.

If you want to appear attractive and interesting – add some spark and sparkle to your profile.

Tom, divorced for 15 years, a single father of teenager, has been on Match.com for five years.

He rarely, if ever, looks at the dating website and is thrilled if anybody ever contacts him. A busy executive – virtually chained to his desk, Tom claims he doesn’t have time to “troll” for a date. Really? Five years – a passive dater – and he wonders why no one ever contacts him:  old photo, old headline. Yawn.

Recently, he and his son from returned from a camping trip and he updated his profile and posted new photos of himself. Bingo!  Three women sent him e-mails and he was back in the game- his interest high. Yes, girls it is a good idea to reach out and connect with guys.

Page Larkin’s Mandatory: You Must Do This – Three Tips

1. Change your picture – every month or two. Have a friend take your photo at an event or new venue.

2. Get  Updated –  If you have the same opening line,  “I was born at an early age,” “Wow, this is really awkward,” “I’m a love machine looking for my perfect match is that you, honey bun?” Change it. Every sixty days, come up with a new and interesting snippet. Skip any and all honey bun  references.

3.  Don’t Get Stale- If you’ve been hanging around the water cooler at any dating site for over a year and striking out, take a break.  It’ll be good for your soul, self-esteem, your brain and your body. Push away from the computer and go outside and play.

New Tactic: It’s time to comb your hair, brush your teeth, and put on great-looking outfit and go sit in a café. Walk around the park, the yacht harbor, the dog park, Crissy Field  the Polo Field, – look at people and smile. Yep, that is part of the deal.

Do you have a really bad  “The Worst First Date?” nightmare or fiasco? Tell me about it.

Page.Larkin@gmail.com-

Are you suddenly single: divorced, separated, widowed – alone?

happy womanYou only live twice

 Today, a half-million of us are hovering around 50, suddenly single again, and starting a new chapter – whether we are widowed, divorced, retired or just tired – with the kids finally launched…Now is the time: Your Turn. Get ready to take time for you.

Just Do It?

After decades of caring for spouses, bosses, kids, clients, aging parents, volunteering and balancing – all of the above – now it’s your time.  Don’t waste another day.

You want fries with that? Exactly what do you want?

 For some, finding yourself Suddenly Single can be like the heavens opening, choirs of angels singing Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah, ‎a balloon drop, confetti falling and a cacophony of Veuve Cliquot champagne corks popping.

Others might have a more subdued reaction to finding themselves alone – again – fearing an Eleanor Rigby life.

 Kids, Try this at home: Take a pen and paper; take moment to think, then write-down “The Top 10 Things I Want Right Now.”

Your “I Want Now” List could include a nap, a lover, a dog or a ticket to Miami, Mexico, or Montréal.

 Maybe you want an iPad, a standing/weekly movie date, banishing the grey and going Blonde, a Bunco group, a clean garage or a new pair of Mephistos or Manolo Blahniks. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to go to ‘Sweat Your Prayers’ in Sausalito on a Sunday or Friday night parties at the DeYoung, or to take beginner Tango lessons in Berkeley, or any classes at the Learning Annex. Do it.

Have you wondered where the Andy Goldsworthy art-pieces are in San Francisco are? Find them. Take a tour. Discover Dynamo Donuts Evensong at Grace, Litquake, Bay to Breakers and volunteer someplace fun – like a film festival – not a church. Invite a friend to join you.

Read the San Francisco Chronicle Sunday Pink Section, the Pacific Sun and Johnny FunCheap’s list of events all over the Bay Area. Make a point to do something really fun every week. No holds barred.

Go outside- breathe- walk. Explore San Francisco and all it has to offer.

 If you can dream it – you can write it – put it out there.

 Helga D.  mentioned to her neighbors, just in passing, she wanted a new bike and , bingo – they gave her an older Specialized bike they didn’t use. Brigid told her Pilates buddies she was finally ready to date…slowly and – girls being girls- suggested a guy or two-for her trial dating foray. When Anne P.  was setting up her new newly divorced apartment – she had little or no furniture – Bob and Pam from her school were moving in together –had duplicates of everything and gave her a couch, table, and chairs. Kismet.   

Tell your friends, family, neighbors, acquaintances what you are looking for – put it our there – and see what happens.

Then tell me: page.larkin@gmail.com

 

Spring time in the City – three great dates

Spring has sprung and, yes, Virginia, there is more to

a great date than just ‘dinner and  a movie.’

The Bay Area has no shortage of fun, unusual, diverse hot spots…

The depths and doldrums of winter prompt you to appreciate the more sublime aspects of springtime: warm weather, blue skies, sunshine, and acres of tulips, daffodils and cherry blossoms. Pack away your black sweaters, fleece jackets, pants and pull on pastels. Now is the time for white – everything.

#1.  The Clement Street Crawl

Start the day at the very popular and delicious Q. Restaurant. Have a mimosa and wait for your table. Vitamin C never tasted so good. After a remarkable meal there, start your journey. No one can be on Clement Street without stopping at the famous Green Apple Bookstore. It has to be one of the top three, best independent, bookstores in all of California.

Continue on your merry way and walk the full-length of Clement St. to the Legion of Honor Treasures form the Louvre, wander the hollowed halls and drink in the diverse, exquisite art. There is a lovely little café downstairs.

Next, hike around the breathtakingly beautiful Land’s End. Grab a 38 Geary bus back. Check out the movie schedule at the unique independent, Balboa theater or hit the Kabuki Springs and Spa for a massage or ritual steam, dip, and shower.   Hungry on Balboa? Don’t miss the sublime Balboa Teriyaki  3536 Balboa – 751-8895 –  simply divine  sushi, bento boxes, and “rolls”


#2.  The San Francisco Walking Tour:  Embarcadero and North Beach

Meet at the Ferry Building and choose from the embarrassment of riches: create a picnic from the delectables found at the Farmer’s Market. Start by walking the full-length of the Embarcadero towards North Beach. At Powell street, turn left, walk to Washington Square tuck in to  your yummy picnic.

Feeling energized? Walk up to Coit Tower for one of the best ‘Views of the Bay’ in the area. (Research the fabulously wealthy and eccentric  Lillie Hitchcock Coit)

End the day with a glass of bubbles at the Top of the Mark Hopkins and make plans for the evening.

#3 Getting Nautical 

Take the Larkspur Ferry from San Francisco, sit outside and bask in 30 blissful minutes of water, land and sky; upon arrival, walk across the huge parking lot to the Larkspur Landing Shopping Center. You can explore and hike the quarry, grab a yoga class, visit 24 Hour Fitness or get lost in Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Dining choices runs from really great beers to Three Twins Ice ream, the new and very popular Bel Campo, Miette…and a dozen other options. Sunday brings a parade of Food Trucks…

Yes, the Larkspur movie theater is steps away or you can catch a Marin /Golden Gate Transit bus and spend the day exploring beautiful Marin County. Pick up a map at the AAA office.

Happy Spring!

high hopesSee An Ideal Saturday in San Francisco

It’s spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you’ve got it, you want – oh, you don’t quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so! ~Mark Twain

Dating in San Francisco sucks: top three reasons

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San Francisco may very well be a world-class city; one of the most desirable places to live and the

‘Crown Jewel of California,’ but it sucks to have to “date” here.

Why?

The Top Three Reasons:

  1. The Weather
  2. The Parking
  3. The Traffic

#1. Sunny California is a PR Hoax

In June, July, and August, you pull on your heavy coat, muffler, gloves and boots. The groaning foghorns haunt the early morning air – keening. And warning you about the weather of the day: thick, wet, gray, and fog – again. Your hair will be a mess. Curly hair goes “all frizz.” (Tip: BART over to sunny Berkeley and shop at the mind blowing Berkeley Hats for a warm summer chapeau.)

Don’t even try meeting on Nob Hill in the summer months- be prepared for whipping winds and freezing fog as you cross the street from the Big Four, or the Fairmont’s Tonga Room to the Top of the Mark.  The wind tunnel as you leave The Clift hotel is equally as egregious.

All your friends in San Rafael, Walnut Creek, and Burlingame are wearing sexy sundresses and your enshrouded layers of wool and fleece. The message: -flee the City!

2. The Traffic

So maybe you ride your bike to work from the there- is-no sun-in-the-Sunset District. (Another marketing hoax)

However, you loathe the “Wiggle Room” bike path on Oak Street where multiple copies of show-off  Henry Ego swoosh by- with nary a “on your right.”

You see a bike accident every day and decide to go ’public transportation.’

Hello, MUNI?

Have you ever taken the 38 Geary at 6 PM to get downtown? It is a plethora of winos, derelicts, and bizarre del mundos, and, no, they will not give a seat to a lady. There you are teetering on your Manolo’s, wrapped in a scarf, heavy coat, a warm hat – (from Berkeley Hats) gloves and you notice the inmates are running the Asylum.

So, taxicabs are the answer-and they aren’t cheap (I do love DeSoto cabs and Flywheel.com)

3. Perfectly Putrid Parking

If you drive, you know parking costs are astronomical and parking tickets are like snowflakes in the East. They’re everywhere. Armies of rabid meter maids circle the Marina, Union Street, Union Square and SOMA – shooting tickets with great speed and alacrity from their ticket guns- earning that over $90 million revenue in parking tickets for the City.

A First Date

In June, Jill from Brisbane agreed to meet Michael R. at the Burger Bar atop Macy’s On Union Square. It was a “first date” therefore,  special.

No one told her it was prom night, free-movie on Union Square night, and the Apple convention. As she blithely approached the City, the traffic came to a grinding halt.  She turned to KCBS 740 AM for the traffic: Nightmare on 101. Too late to try Highway 280.

She sat seething – for one hour- then was advised by her date- he checked – every parking lot around Union Square was ‘full.’ He suggested they meet in Brisbane- free parking, no fuss, and no muss. She liked him already.

Bridge and Tunnelers swarm into the City on weekends. They come wide-eyed and optimistic. They leave – with pockets empty, parking anger on “high” and fed up with the traffic.  Big Buzz kill.

Backup on the Golden Gate Bridge and the Bay Bridge can be catastrophic.

So there you have it.

The weather sucks, parking is ephemeral, and traffic is like sludge. Other than that, San Francisco rocks!

Your cheating heart: monogamy vs monotony?

photo_11785_20090615peacockWhen we left her, our heroine, Monica, had just ditched Mr. Polyamorous 

(Come on! I want to date you – and, you – and you)  and was moving on.

   The Date Watchers were discussing cheating, “sharing” and polyamory. They concluded they were all much more Pollyanna than Polyamory.

What happened to Pollyanna?

A week after checking the “Opt Out” box with Mr. Ménage a Many, she was on the elevator at the 450 Sutter Medical Building and ran into an old (50-something) college friend, a dentist, widowed a year before, and a ballroom dance aficionado. From the 24th floor to the lobby they chatted, laughed and agreed to go dancing and now, they are making beautiful music together. It happens.

Mad About You…and You… and You

Monica, 55, (the ink on the divorce papers was barely dry) had to chime in with her tale of “Whoa.” She recently signed up on two online dating sites. Smiling like a Cheshire cat, she said she been blissfully dating – multiple men. She was like a kid in a candy store. She bragged she was making up for lost time.

The other women listened as Monica regaled them with her tales from the crib. Thirty dates in thirty days sounded impressive and exhausting. Would a diabetic coma follow her sweet overload?

Two of the women agreed they experienced that same the same post-divorce-euphoria, to a lesser degree. The consensus was that hyperactive, Monica should slow down and smell the flowers, instead of mowing them down. She was the classic too much, too soon, too fast, fey divorcee.

Monica said she was upfront with each of the three men she was dating. The first guy said, “Hasta la vista, baby,” and walked out; Number Two wanted to woo Monica and was willing to stay in the game; Number Three said “…give me a call when you’re done experimenting.”

Can You Spell STD?drinx

The wine continued to flow, as did the opinions. Yes, of course, all agreed life is short, however they also encouraged Monica to slow down, take precautions, get tested, and focus on quality, not quantity.

Lynne, the wise said, “Monica, sweetie, you’ve got ADD. You have all the classic symptoms of Affection Deficit Disorder. It’s been a long time since you have had any action; all of this serial dating is just frothy, light and fun. Get it out of your system and then get real.”

The women raised their glasses in unison and said, “Here’s to those who love us, and here’s to those who don’t, a smile for those who are willing to, and a tear for those who won’t.”

Monica, of the ‘get in the last word’ countered with,

Remember what Mae West said,” Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!”

Cheers.photo_7840_20081106(1)love small

Hey, Santa! The 200 words women want to hear

Santa Baby,

we need to talk.

Listen to this: reports indicate, every day, women say 1000 more words than male counterparts.

We can talk about this, if you like.

Men are way less loquacious – and they talk less, too

A random poll recently conducted at Curves, a nail salon, an OB-Gyn office and a leading yoga studio revealed:

              

Top 200 Words that Women Would Most Like to Hear Are:

1. Merry Christmas, the  little blue box is for you.

2. You are beautiful; those jeans make you look so thin and sexy.

3. How was your day? You’re brilliant. Hugs.

4. Here, darling, a couple of credit cards. Take them – go on a shopping spree. You deserve it. Macy’s  is having a huge sale.

5. Can I draw you a bath? Let me wrap all the presents.

6. Of course, I’d love to watch a chick flick on the couch with you. ‘You’ve Got Mail’ or “Serendipity”?

7. Forget the 49’ers. Let’s go walk at the beach.

8. I just called to say ‘I love you.’ Did you find the flowers I left on the doorstep?

9. You’re the greatest. Babe, sit down, watch your Soaps, I taped them for you; I’ll do the dishes.

10. I’ve got mistletoe! You and me? Away in the manger?

11. Hark! Do you hear what I hear? The kids are asleep.

12. You’re an incredible woman (wife, mother, best friend) I missed you and vacuumed the house.

Listen, women may tend to be loquacious, voluble and talkative; we have a lot to say.

A savvy Santa is perceptive and sage.

Spice up your life with the Top 200 Words Women Want to Hear.

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