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Archive for the tag “friends and dating”

TMI? Online dating profiles – slow down

Too much, too soon, too fast?

Writing an online dating profile – Too much information is a big turnoff

Sally Rand was the most famous fan dancer in the world.

She was the epitome of artful seduction and enticement. The provocative dancer appeared – briefly – on stage and deftly, slowly, swayed to classical music, hinting and flirting. She got big attention with strategic placement.

Sally Rand – her body of work – a parable

Rand was famous for her six-minute act. While bathed in blue light, the temptress stood on the stage, naked, seductively moving two seven-foot-long ostrich feathers in front of her body to the music of Debussy and Chopin. And the crowd went wild – needless to say. Leaving much to the imagination, she was irresistible and exciting. She said, “If you love living, you try to take care of the equipment.” She might have said, “Less is more,” which is the best advice for writing an online dating profile.

imageshatttRule #1. Your dating profile – keep it simple

Whether you are on your virgin voyage – writing your first online dating profile – or re-writing it for the tenth time, remember: Don’t tell all. Leave something up to the reader’s imagination. Coy and cute is far superior to cold, hard facts linked together like a shopping list. You may be very proud of your car, career, cats, kids, kayaking prowess, stamp collecting or church choir debut. Merely listing these attributes or accomplishments is dull times three.

And, yes, it’s great your kid just graduated from an Ivy League school – however, all that bragging about your offspring (a la Pimp My Kid) might just as well be mentioned later. Every day, there is a new parade of hopeful romantics who sign up for Match, JDate, and Perfect Match and Plenty of Fish – your goal: grab attention, quietly.

Don’t try this at home

Remember: Quirky isn’t cute; it’s been done and it’s a bore.The 2001 photograph of you dressed as a French maid or peeking over a fan may garner the wrong kind of attention. And, writing your profile – from your dog’s point of view – may have been funny for a sixth-grade assignment, but not at this juncture.

Bragging about your myriad accomplishments – medals, trophies, clubs – wait on that.

Blasting and attacking your ex – delete immediately. Pimp your kids? Photos and news of your kid’s accomplishments – skip it.

It’s all about you.

Take the time to look at what other people your age are writing … some will inspire, others will bore, some may spark your attention. It’s called ‘comparitive shopping’ and it works.

Bravo for you – and have fun as you navigate the waters of the dating pool.

May you have many fans.

“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.” — Mae West

You, too, can learn how to fan dance.

Top 10 ways to get your Valentine’s Day mojo moving

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Valentine’s Day is a sugar rush for See’s Candy

and for Hallmark cards.

Florists are in seventh heaven with dozens of acres of red roses bought and sold this week.

What about the rest of us, sweetheart?

Remember: Valentine’s Day is about happy hearts, hugs, flirting, wearing all shades of red, pink and crimson.  February 14th is the one day of the year we can “Blame it on Cupid” while we gather up courage to flirt early and flirt often.

Top 10 Ways to Get your mojo moving and in the mood for Valentine’s Day

  1. Say ‘hi’ to that cutie you see every day
  2. Smile at strangers
  3. Send Valentines wishes (roses are red, violets are blue, meet me at…)
  4. Invite a ‘hearty’ acquaintance to join you for a walk through the Presidio – and a drink at Presidio Social Club
  5. Wear red – all week long
  6. Buy “Big Hunk” candy bars for all your girlfriends. Give away Hershey kisses
  7. Text, twitter, e-mail, and nudge your friends on Face book: reach out and hug someone
  8. Make Valentines; check out Free Range Stock for fabulous photos
  9. Meet at the beauteous Palace of Fine Arts  Learn about San Francisco hero,  Walter Johnson, who saved the once dilapidated – now most romantic -landmark
  10. Invite a small group to meet at Amoeba Records, agree upon a romantic comedy DVD; have dinner and Sangria at Cha-Cha-Cha ; watch the movie with red wine and red velvet cupcakes, Sweet!
  11. Send everyone you know a simple “I love you” message -pay it forward
  12. Create a CD of all your favorite romantic love songs – share – Besame Mucho!

Everyone loves to be remembered on Valentine’s Day.

Buy yourself flowers

Have a happy healthy heart!

photo_6760_20080814(2)rosesss

Yum

Yum

Hey, Santa! The 200 words women want to hear

Santa Baby,

we need to talk.

Listen to this: reports indicate, every day, women say 1000 more words than male counterparts.

We can talk about this, if you like.

Men are way less loquacious – and they talk less, too

A random poll recently conducted at Curves, a nail salon, an OB-Gyn office and a leading yoga studio revealed:

              

Top 200 Words that Women Would Most Like to Hear Are:

1. Merry Christmas, the  little blue box is for you.

2. You are beautiful; those jeans make you look so thin and sexy.

3. How was your day? You’re brilliant. Hugs.

4. Here, darling, a couple of credit cards. Take them – go on a shopping spree. You deserve it. Macy’s  is having a huge sale.

5. Can I draw you a bath? Let me wrap all the presents.

6. Of course, I’d love to watch a chick flick on the couch with you. ‘You’ve Got Mail’ or “Serendipity”?

7. Forget the 49′ers. Let’s go walk at the beach.

8. I just called to say ‘I love you.’ Did you find the flowers I left on the doorstep?

9. You’re the greatest. Babe, sit down, watch your Soaps, I taped them for you; I’ll do the dishes.

10. I’ve got mistletoe! You and me? Away in the manger?

11. Hark! Do you hear what I hear? The kids are asleep.

12. You’re an incredible woman (wife, mother, best friend) I missed you and vacuumed the house.

Listen, women may tend to be loquacious, voluble and talkative; we have a lot to say.

A savvy Santa is perceptive and sage.

Spice up your life with the Top 200 Words Women Want to Hear.

Top Ten Ways to get a Kick out of Christmas

Feeling like a Donder or a Blitzen?

Kick that habit – it’s time to  have yourself a merry little Christmas and kick up your heels, Cupid.

Page Larkin’s Top Ten Ways to Get a Kick Out of the Christmas Holiday

1. Say ‘Merry Christmas’ to everyone. Bah, humbug to the PC happy holiday malarkey. Go ahead, say Merry Christmas to the people on the bus, the doorman, the waitress, barista, the taxi driver the clerk, the MUNI driver, the people in the elevator and everyone! What goes around…

2. Wear red. It’s fun, it’s festive and red-quired. Come on, don your red apparel. Everyone should wear at least one red article of clothing. No Santa hats unless you are under 18. Donate the old 75% off, Christmas sweater you got at Mervyns, to the less fortunate. Go, Red!

3. Memorize A Visit from St Nicholas by Clement C Moore and recite it at the drop of a hat. Bring a hat wherever you go.

4. Wear mistletoe. No kidding. Buy a sprig of mistletoe and pin it to your lapel or put it on your hat. Be kissed off and on. Yes, Virginia, you can download a picture of mistletoe. There are no rules. See Google images of the kissing tree.

5. Add the quality of jollity and frivolity see Kung Pao Kosher Comedy December 23 through December 26th

6. Go Glow: Do you see what I see? Find the Christmas log on TV for Christmas Day.

7. Laugh and love the funniest, most engaging capella choir,Straight No Chaser . The hilariously talented group sings every Christmas favorite with a twist and a shout. For fun and free music see Pandora.

8. Surround Sound: FM stations are playing non-stop Christmas melodies and standards. Bring out the Bing and dream of a White Christmas.

9. Read The Fir Tree by Hans Christian Anderson and The Christmas Memory by Truman Capote. Read them and weep.

10. Reach out and contribute – time, money, love, energy….

Christmas ball


Do not rest ye merry gentle people; sing, stroll, dance, prance, dream.  Call the Scrooges the Grinches, the Donders, and the Blitzens and wish Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com. Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- click the Subscribe button at the top of the

The shocking truth about women and book clubs

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What really happens in Book Clubs?

You think we talk about irony and plot?

Legions of women across America gather monthly, supposedly to discuss the finer points of irony, character development, and plot vs. protagonist. Fortified by gallons of Green tea and petite cookies, they tackle the Classics, bestsellers and the New York Times Review of Books. From the outside, it appears to be an intellectual diversion.

However, here is a dirty little secret: many book clubs are really a covert way to analyze, dissect, and discuss men. Very few clubs will admit to this nefarious charge. Many groups, thinly veiled as passionate about reading, are really all about an underlying desire to talk about men, husbands, boyfriends, lovers, dating, sex, and books on the same subject.

Revelations – Not Just a Book in the Bible

A well-known book group in the Marina district, formed 15 years ago, were devotees of Balzac, Joyce, Goethe, Keats, Flaubert, Yeats and Ibsen. In 2005 they stumbled upon, and raced through the Da Vinci Code –  who didn’t? That was the beginning of the end. Once they tasted the sweet ambrosia of run-away bestsellers, all lofty goals to read great literature and share erudite observations were fini compleat.

En masse, they began to crave and seek out books of a lesser plot. Instant hedonists, they began to dabble in uncharted waters: and did a canon ball into the wide, wacky world of “Chick Lit.” In no time,  the three very prolific and real queens of Chick Lit,  Marian KeyesSophie Kinsella and Helen Fielding of Bridget Jones fame were elevated to the group’s Literary Royalty and Beach reading books became de rigueur. The once stuffy book group became literary libertines.

Tryst – Like We Did Last Summer

After a steady, frothy diet of light and airy books, the happy hedonists evolved. They began to research  and write about steamy, sexy, destinations and the best places to conduct romantic interludes. They quickly nailed San Francisco, Maui, London, Paris, and New York City.  San Francisco was nominated their Most Romantic City.  The so-called book group’s next foray is a joint effort of co-authoring a risqué ‘bodice ripper’ They are not your mother’s book club or the Jane Austen book club.  However, they are currently looking for a publisher. Stay tuned.

Here’s to the ladies who lunch and bravo to the broads who tap out steamy fantasy for your secret reading enjoyment.

Reading is a means of thinking with another person’s mind; it forces you to stretch your own.” Charles Scribner

Are your participles dangling? Follow me on Face Book.

Occupy What? Meeting the Fokkers on Thanksgiving?

Turkey:  Rhymes with dysfunction

Do you dare bring a date home for Thanksgiving -to meet the family?

Imagine the smell of the turkey roasting in the oven and the sight of luscious pumpkin pies and plump mincemeat pies sitting on the buffet. Cubes of yellow butter melting on mounds of steaming mashed potatoes. The dining room aglow with orange votive candles and a massive centerpiece of fall colored chrysanthemums gracing the table.

Dishes piled with green beans and sweet carrot soufflé, bowls of ruby red cranberries, and pomegranates and tangerines all crowded on the kitchen counter. A veritable food festival with friends and family –and, some ‘strangers in the night’.

Steve in Houston revealed he is ‘blessed’ with an Aunt Can’t Edit, who blurts unseemly comments and slightly embarrasses the entire family in one fell swooping comment.

Cherie in Seattle writes last year she was graced with, “A cast of cousins straight out of Central Casting, Seven Dwarves style: Grumpy, Dopey, Snarky, Chatty, Smokey, Sneezey, and Boozy.”

Okay, kids, so Thanksgiving will never be a Norman Rockwell painting. Granted, for many of us it will be more like “The Scream” Each year we are fortunate to gather, gobble and go. Count your blessings. Bring your current sweetheart home to meet the family? Tomes have been written about courage and bravery – you decide: will this exposure to your kin  be a coup de grace or a potential triumph? Good luck.

 

The family… a strange little band of characters trudging through life… inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together. ~Erma Bombeck

Oh, Happy Day
Last year, six of us volunteered at three different soup kitchens and were turned away. There were too many volunteers. That’s what I’m talking about.

The Mad Dash of the Holidays is Here
I refuse to count the daze. This year I’m going to float down the stream of Christmas consciousness and revel in friends, fun, simplicity and sanity. All aboard.

The Day after Thanksgiving and all through the house,

not a creature was shopping- all were watching football, talking, laughing, reading, washing dishes – a meditation- walking, riding bikes, going to see Harry Potter, or RED- and avoiding getting mauled at any mall. Double  dare you to Buy Nothing

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com.

Top Ten Romantic Places to Kiss in San Francisco

The Top 10 Romantic Places

in San Francisco

Everyone knows the San Francisco is the consummate romantic Mecca and there are dozens of romantic places to buss/smooch/osculate and kiss

The Top 10? After much research ~ I can heartily attest:

1. The Top of the Stairs at Broadway and Lyon – the view, alone, will take your breath away. It’s a secret place, off the beaten track and and it inspires romance.

2. Under the Clock of the Ferry Building

The Golden Ghetto ~ on Saturday mornings ~ the sight of the famous Farmer’s Market. See the aubergine and tangerine, enjoy quaffing champagne, or sample at the Caviar Bar, select divine picnic items, revel in the sweet smells of butter, sugar and cinnamon wafting from the numerous bakeries, indulge in a Blue Bottle coffee…enjoy the towers of stunningly beautiful fresh flowers, and gaze at the Cowgirl Creamery cheeses…walk along the water …Everything is pretty darn seductive and suggestive. Can you say: An Affair to Remember?

3. The corner booth at The Grand Café (Geary and Taylor) It’s all about location, location, location. Sexy, seductive, alluring and private. Ambiance. Fabulous hors d’ oeuvres and great mixologists.images

4. The Make Out Room named appropriately, you don’t need another clue. Stimulating venues.

5. The Tonga Room At the Fairmont ~Nob Hill. Yum~ Drinks with tiny umbrellas – tropical atmosphere and It’s like the Tiki Room without the birds~ Nowhere else in San Francisco can you kiss in the rain forest.

6. Sweet – As you leave divine and sublime XOX truffles in North Beach- with a small box of San Francisco’s real “treat” ~The quality and richness of the 27 unforgettable tiny chocolate kisses – and yummy flavors are sure to entice~

7. Palace of Fine Arts San Francisco’s most majestic and remarkable shrine…originally created for the 1915 World’s Fair by the incredible visionary Bernard Maybeck …near the columns, under the statues of weeping women, at the lagoon or undulating grassy area.

8. Golden Gate Bridge, anytime of the day ~ must be midspan…even with the infamous summer fog and wind whipping about – The GGB is one of the City’s most romantic and frantic destinations.

9. The Pier – Crissy Field, the only pier pressure, you will find us from your gull-friends swooping overhead. 360 degree views …Crashing waves, frothy white caps, sometimes blue skies and a breathtaking skyline.

10. The Conservatory of Flowers in Golden Gate Park the spun sugar palace, replica of Kew Gardens, is all good things: sultry- sexy and steamy. Bonus ~Beautiful flowers in abundance. A Must: Buss behind the begonias…

So, get on the buss~ Everyday is Valentine’s day in Romantic San Francisco~~~

“The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination.”      Albert Einstein

Can we talk? Girls just want to have a chat…

 It’s a fact: women tend to be more glib and voluble.

Girls just want to have dialogue

For the time it takes to push your cart through the checkout at the grocery store, two women can share a succinct, lifetime of information.

A simple, “Love those shoes,” can launch a conversation covering shopping, kids, schools, sales, babysitters, therapists, recipes, divorce attorneys, events, and books. All this before checkout.

Dr Tom Lewis, the darling of San Francisco’s famed Fromm Institute, lecturer and co-author of the book, A General Theory of Love, said findings indicate women say 1000 more words, every day, than their male counterparts. We can talk about this, if you like.

The San Francisco 3-D Club

It started with three newly divorced women who were 50-ish, avid movie buffs who had coffee and dialogue once a week.  Over the next few years, their numbers increased and a monthly dinner meeting replaced the coffee date. When the group hit 20 members – the membership doors closed. Though many knocked, wanted to join and would “pay anything to join” the eclectic, energetic group said,  “No more girls allowed.”

Each quasi-clandestine meeting has an emcee, a film reviewer and a “Top 3-D List” compiled by the host. The “Top 3-D List” is made up of three things that are divine, decadent or benevolent. In addition to being film junkies, the group has altruistic bent and has quietly supported St. Anthony’s, OneBrick, Community Thrift and the Casa de las Madres, the Pachamama Alliance, and the Avon Breast Cancer walk.

While there are no dues and no don’ts, the group has a philosophy steering clear of the negative and emphasizing the positive. They are positively social and the Club has an unspoken, “Girlfriend, have I got a guy for you” component where sometimes members introduce their male friends and colleagues to other members.

As a result, some wedding bells have pealed and repealed.

Members who have re-married have their own private club- couples only.

“Fear less, hope more; Eat less, chew more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Love more, and all good things will be yours
”    Swedish Proverb

Absolutely what not to wear at 50: playing dress up?

“Fashions fade, style is eternal.”

Yves Saint Laurent

Prolific Romance writer, Danielle Steel, complains vehemently  that  women in San Francisco don’t dress well.

In a Wall Street Journal article she commented that San Franciscans all look that they are ready ‘to go camping.’  She said that City Girls were simply too casual – tromping about in hiking boots and shorts.   Is there truth in all jest?

Take that off: it’s not Halloween and you’re not 15

Okay, so the Steve Urkel nerdy-look (fake, over-sized, glasses with plastic black frames, tight flood pants, plaid shirts and striped T-shirts, Beatle boots) is de rigueur for the teens and 20’s in San Francisco. Even GQ has a new stable of hipster wannabe teen models – wearing yellow shoes, “pegged” plaid plants and hats half-cocked.

Kids! You’ve got to love them- not dress like them.

Dress Your Own Age

Tiffany, 20-something, complains that her mother (49 and holding) dips into her closet and borrows her clothes- including her Uggs, Crocs, hoodies, and Jeggings. In an effort to stave off Father Time and Mother Nature, Mom tries to dress down a decade. Or two.

Not a Good Look-At your Age

Miniskirts, T-shirts and belly-button displays –those days are over, Binkie. Skin-tight tops, hip-hugging-for-life jeans, which don’t fit – sorry, Sally. That ship has sailed. The cold hard truth: a plus-sized body – or a mother pushing 50: back away from your daughter’s closet.  Ms. Steel would agree.

If Nobody Will Tell You

Never ask a sales clerk, “Do these $200 jeans and this $300 top make me look young?”  No salesclerk, on commission, is going to say, “Ma’am this is the Junior’s department, you should really be in the Mature or the Big Mama’s department, I’m just saying.”

Take a look at the much celebrated TV Show, “What Not to Wear” Then hit the library and peruse a copy  of How Not to Look Old.

Remember, Oprah? She still is offering advice about dressing up and dressing your age.

Say Au Revoir, Good bye, Adios, and Ciao to the Oldies – Not Goodies

  • Souvenir T-shirts
  • T-shirts with anything written on them
  • Overalls
  • Ripped jeans or acid-washed jeans
  • Shoulder pads
  • Overalls
  • Flannel shirts
  • Muumuus
  • Elastic-waist pants
  • Granny panties

Finally, let it be known: there is a moratorium on all Holiday sweaters (especially sweaters with pumpkins, Santa, reindeer, teddy bears)

“Fashions fade, style is eternal. Yves Saint Laurent

Page Larkin, San Francisco author, dating coach and dating docent offers a 3-hour Dating Workshop

“Online Dating: Get Your Mojo Moving”

in San Francisco
Saturday, October, 13 10 AM to 1 PM
Cost: $85
Limit: eight to a class
Bring your current online dating profile, photos and a Dream Date List

(more information with Enrollment)   an open-mind, a sense of humor, and a desire   to get in the dating game to play and win.

Enroll at Page.Larkin@Gmail.com

Sex on the beach – a 30 year Retro-spective

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When you’re 18, and a boy asks you to go to the beach,   you grab your parent’s Pendleton blanket, dash out the door, and go to the beach. You are probably wearing jeans and a hooded sweatshirt.

In college, when a guy asks you to go to the beach, you pull the blanket off the bed in your dorm room and locate 2 cans of Budweiser beer. You’re probably wearing a sweatshirt with your school logo and jeans.

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In your 20s, when a man asks you to the beach, you grab a tattered quilt from a roommate’s closet, you grab a bottle of Mountain Red, a wedge of brie, a loaf of French bread, two glasses, paper napkins, and your Swiss Army knife. You’re probably wearing an embroidered peasant blouse, your sweatshirt from college and jeans.

In your 30s, when a friend asks you to the beach, you get your Pendleton blanket, your Swiss Army knife, a decent bottle of Pinot Noir, a small, inspired meal including: a green salad, French lentils, two kinds of cheese, grapes, both crackers and a baguette, cloth napkins, truffle brownies, and you place everything in a well appointed picnic hamper. You are most likely wearing a pair of designer jeans, a T-shirt, a hoodie and a leather jacket.

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In your 50s,when a man asks you to the beach, you get your Pendleton blanket, you find the sunscreen, your hat, your sunglasses, get a cashmere wrap to go over your cashmere hoodie, pull a great bottle of Copain Pinot Noir from your wine stash, throw together a picnic including an impressive triple cream, imported fig jam, a loaf of that great Acme bread, some of the fabulous Swiss chard with garlic and potatoes and the balsamic vinegar reduction you threw together, melon slices and grapes, two lemon tarts and your Swiss Army knife.

You easily locate the small serving platters, cloth napkins, a tablecloth, two Reidel glasses.

You pluck a rose from your garden and locate that little vase to put it in. Everything fits in the lovely, antique picnic hamper you have had forever. You put the cat out, turn the answering machine on, find that old, worn and comfy sweatshirt from college, slip into your faded pair of jeans and drive over to pick him up.

“For times they are a changing…” Bob  Dylan

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at: page.larkin @gmail.com

Don’t miss – a single Page Larkin column – click the Subscribe button at the top of the page.

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