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Archive for the tag “dating coach”

No L-o-v-e? Facebook says Christmas is break up time

Tis the season to be jolly  HOWEVER, According to Facebook, it’s the War of the Roses time and breaking up is de rigueur.

Research done by the elves at Facebook reveals that Christmastime can be called ‘Merry EX-miss.’

Single and Afraid of Another Silent Night?

Finding yourself suddenly single can make the Christmas holiday a totally new, sometimes unsettling experience. These can be the times that try men’s and women’s souls, stamina, and spirit. 

Business Insider reveals that David McCandless did the due diligence on ‘Yuletide dating and breaking up’ by examining trends on Facebook. Research indicates breaking up at the holiday season is a so-called tradition.

Blue Christmas, indeed. And, you don’t even want to know about Mondays.  Is there really such a thing as Empirical evidence from Facebook? Who says if it’s from Facebook, it’s got to be true?

If your December dilemma

Once you were  half-of-a-couple, now you find yourself flying solo – what do you do? Get off the couch, push away from the computer and go out and play. Wear red. Listen to Christmas carols. Invest in mistletoe and wear a sprig on your lapel or on your hat.  

Scour the San Francisco Chronicle for events, read Marin’s Pacific Sun  for fun events; read Johnny Fun Cheap.

 Say ‘yes’ to every invitation to go out; go dancing; see the beautiful decorations on Union Square; master the art of making latkes; learn the words to ‘Mele Kalikimaka‘; throw a Christmas party – at home, with friends, in a small café or a pub.

Got Dates?

A passel of people (see movie Love Actually) who find themselves in the dreaded  ‘kiss-free mistletoe zone’  actively seek out sweethearts for the season. These pro-active romantics re-up on Match.com, Craigslist, Eharmony, or Plenty of Fish.

Follow suit: they smile and say, “Merry Christmas” to everyone – especially at Trader Joe’s, Bryan’s, Safeway and default to jolly and bright.

Some say ‘lose the Santa hat’ and lead with a hearty “Merry Christmas.”

(Don’t waste one minute debating the PC-ness of wishing everybody a “MC”)

And, don’t let a Facebook statistic get in the way of having a holly-jolly holiday.

Your mother was right: Go outside and play!

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin,welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com

You MAE go WEST, young man

Mae West Quotes

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.

A hard man is good to find.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.
A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that’s subtraction.

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

A man’s kiss is his signature.

A woman in love can’t be reasonable – or she probably wouldn’t be in love.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,   but with somebody else.

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.
 

Any time you got nothing to do – and lots of time to do it – come on up.

Any time you’ve got nothing to do and lots of time to do it come on up.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Cultivate your curves – they may be dangerous but they won’t be avoided.

Don’t keep a man guessing too long – he’s sure to find the answer somewhere else.

Don’t marry a man to reform him – that’s what reform schools are for.

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can’t figure out what from.


Give a man a free hand and he’ll run it all over you.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.

I always say, keep a diary and someday it’ll keep you.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

I believe that it’s better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

I didn’t discover curves; I only uncovered them.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can’t resist it.

I like a man who’s good, but not too good – for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

I like restraint, if it doesn’t go too far.


Dating a bombe, a souffle… or a duff? Prefer sweet things?

‘Date Watchers’ is a local, dynamic, new group with a lot to say. Look out.

They get together once a week at the Champagne Bakery and weigh in on dating.

The women discuss dating decorum and delusions as well as romance rites and wrongs. Lofty subjects include: how many calories in a sweet nothing? Are there twice as many calories in a double entendre? Who pays on the second date? Is it polite to refer a date, who didn’t quite work out-  to a friend? Do you tweet, text or talk?

Talking in Code?

The sumptuous atmosphere of the bakery has inspired a shorthand to describe dating bombes, trifles and the much sought after: angel food. A ‘napoleon’ is someone who is sweet, yet has shortcomings; a ‘sponge cake’, is one who tries to borrow money, a ‘pound cake’ is someone who is dull and heavy. A person who is ‘a soufflé has no substance. Crullers and duffs and fools are not in their sweet dating repertoire.

Required reading this month is Greg Behrendt’s “He’s Just Not That Into You” a hard-hitting, no-nonsense book they regard as their ‘bible’.

As far as Role models, the group subscribes to the sage observations of  Mother Teresa. And, naturally, Mae West.

Mother Teresa said: “If we want a love message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.”
Mae West said: “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.”

Date Watchers appear default to a more ‘West-ern’ philosophy.

All Rise to the Occasion

There are about a dozen women, at any given meeting, and it appears they fall into three distinct categories. Roughly one third of the women have put their big toe into the Internet dating pool.They report they are happy with just a short, sweet introduction.

The others have dived into the deep end of dating: hearts first.  They are the true storytellers. And, boy, do they tell stories!

Thr third faction is made up of true date-watchers… they live vicariously through the stories – of their daring dating sisters.

Next week, four of the women have agreed to do Canon Balls into the deep end of the sparkling dating pool and sign up on Match.com.

“It is better to be looked over than overlooked” Mae West

They don’t have CCR’s – however, they have a dating code of ethics based on the Golden Rule.

Some of their beliefs are predicated on the philosophy of Socrates and Camus: happiness is fleeting kind of an idea. Meanwhile, the Date Watchers sit amidst glass cases filled with divinity and ambrosia and debate the choice of upside down cake versus wedding cake.

How sweet it is.

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Page Larkin San Francisco Examiner at 50

Merry Flirting Christmas – get with the progam

Flirting is the gentle art of making two people happy- start with sharing a smile.

Start a happy holiday season by flirting now. Here are a handful of romantic role models to emulate:

Before breakfast, Douglas buys two copies of the San Francisco Chronicle. He reads one and offers a second copy to an attractive, single woman in one of the three cafés he frequents each week. He’s famous for this.

Coffee, tea, or me? After a month, three times a week, of handing a double espresso, to her “favorite cute customer with no wedding ring and a ready smile”- Lynne wrote her phone number on the sleeve of his coffee cup. Romance is brewing.

Gene B in Santa Rosa in Medford is famous for flirting and for the  “I thought you two were sisters,” comment to the mothers of the women he dates. Believe it or not, mothers-of -an-age- love this.

Jeremy H. buys bags of Hershey kisses and says he drops one or two off on tables of interesting women at the library, Peet’s or cafes- when he is strolling through. Jeremy – the flirt-  is famous for giving away free kisses and smiles.

Valerie in Modesto writes that she looks at man, catches his eye and turns away. She looks back and smiles. She says it works every time. Oh, la, la  Remember: eye contact is an icebreaker and a romantic catalyst. Go for it.

Edward, the dapper crossing guard on Geary Boulevard, tells every woman he sees she looks “Lovely this morning, ma’am.” Women actually cross the street just to talk to Edward. Think about it. That’s so cool.

Chris, the flirting waiter at Rigolo in Laurel Village, greets and kids around with every female customer who comes to the small cafe. He is always ready with a compliment and a smile. Needless to say, he’s a very popular guy.

Jan R., the tall redhead at the checkout clerk at the Masonic Trader Joe’s, a polyglot, greets customers in their respective homeland lingo. People love this and make a bee-line to her and ‘check’ her out.  To say she is popular – only begins to describe her.

A simple “hello” – a great beginning. Try it.

Love Story at 80

Most mornings you can see Hank and Joanne, holding hands, walking up and down the streets in Presidio Heights. He wears a Cal baseball cap and she wears a red Stanford hat. The two octogenarians talk and laugh and Hank frequently picks up newspapers and tosses them up to neighbor’s front doors. The two exude an affection and attraction that most aspire. Some think it’s good luck to see this darling devoted couple.

Now is the time to throw off “shy and subdued” and get out and flirt.

Love is in the air and everywhere. Seek out bouquets of mistletoe, wear some on your lapel, and flirt frequently.

“All women are flirts, but some are restrained by shyness, and others by sense.”     Rochefoucauld

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at page.larkin@gmail.com. Don’t miss a single Page Larkin

Men at 50- confused and crazed by women at 50

Inquiring Men Want to Know: This week brings questions from men about serial dating, flirting and frustration. I endeavor to answer the questions as best as I can. Send your questions, queries, and quibbles to 50datesexaminer@gmail.com


Dear Page

My friends say I’m like the guy in the movie Network who screams “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!” I’m really frustrated. I have been on three different dating sites in three years. No luck. I keep meeting women who send old photos, who lie about their age and smoking and who don’t seem to have an Emotional IQ   Is it me?

Just like Peter Finch

Dear Just Like Peter Finch,

While nobody said it was going to be easy, online dating should be fun, at best. Sorry to hear about your tribulations. Don’t give up.  Be more direct in your profile stating an interest in self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, and the ability to love. Try again.

Peace, Page

Dear Page Larkin,

I’m 63, retired, divorced, healthy and look and feel the best ever. My new girlfriend is 55 and  hot. There is one drawback: she’s what you call a serial dater. She’s a gal with the ‘kennel of doggie bags in the refrigerator. She goes out almost every night- not with me. She is only free on Wednesday nights. Am I wasting my time?

Berkeley Bob

Dear Berkeley Bob,

If you are “girlfriend” is dating three other men each week, sit down; she’s just not that into you. She is obviously playing the field and, Bob, you’re not on her roster. It’s time to move on, and try greener pastures-you deserve better.

Peace, Page

Hey, Larkin,

I read your piece about ‘Men are like Champagne.’ Well, my experience says women are like eels. You can’t get a handle on them and they get away.

Morgan Hill Mike

Hey, Morgan,

Good point. There are 1 million stories ‘in the dated city’ and just as many metaphors. Following the whole fishing metaphor: I’d say the more lines you put in the water, the better your luck. See: Dating 101: Catch and Release. Have fun out there. Remember, online dating is a number’s game – and you have to get in the game to win.

Peace, Page

San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at 50datesexaminer@gmail.com.

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column- Click, click, Click the Subscribe button.

All Page Larkin Dating@50 Examiner articles © 2011 by Page Larkin; reposts permitted with copy written notice and link to original article. All other rights reserved.

I need a date, Coach~

It couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy…san-fran

 Matt, 47, lives in San Francisco, was married for 20 yrs – now divorced – is new to the dating whirl. Although he is divorced for almost a year, he is still in that quasi-reclusive stage. Some say all that time dealing with judges and lawyers took the joie  de vivre and the starch out of him.

Friends have  encouraged him to get ‘out there and date”.  They have regaled him with dating success stories and yet, he is hesitant to go beyond a second date.


Serendipity happens when you least expect it

Matt recently attended a Medical Equipment  sales conference at the downtown Hilton.  He said the  hotel was teeming with conventioneers.  On the first day he noticed dozens of women, and a handful of men,  flocking to a particular ballroom near his meeting room. He said there were  a ton of pink balloons and multiple  giant vases with red roses at the entrance to the room where all the women seemed to be heading.

Impulsively- he joined  a “swarm” of fast talking, fast moving women and entered the lively room with them. He deftly removed his  name tag and folded his suit jacket over his arm and sat down.

He said the attractive woman next to him started chatting him up -not realizing she was sitting next to the King of Small Talk.  In no time  he realized the signs reading “WRD/LCC” was for the

Western Region Dating / Life Coach Convention.

His first impulse was to dash – an obvious impostor, he might be discovered… then he thought, sat back, relaxed and decided: “what a deal”

Matt is  an interesting guy – he  enjoyed great success in his career, is a total Mid West – never met a stranger- kind of a guy…

His 20 year marriage evaporated when his wife ran away with the pool boy - actually, it was with the guy who owned the Tri-State Pool Installation mega corporation.

As the opening statements continued, Matt became  the totally intrigued interloper. He tells of  being fascinated by what he learned from the panel 0f  Dating Coaches.

It took One morning

Within two hours – a crash course -   Matt was launched  into the: I can do this -  dating stratosphere. He stayed for the morning presentations and was dazzled by the flood of information about on-line dating ….


What’s the eHarmony in trying this dating site?

Been around the ‘Dating block’ enough times to be an official survivor storyteller?

After years of being married to Mr. or Mrs. Wrong and the ensuing divorce, many of us quickly sign up for Internet dating.

Inspired by those romantic eHarmony ads on TV, we bite.

They say 15,000 people every day fill out the infamous questionnaire.

It can take in excess of 90 minutes to complete the extremely long questionnaire: comprised of 426 seemingly  inane questions covering 29 dimensions. Who knew there was life after the Fifth Dimension?

Finally, you pay hefty $60 for a one month membership. Harmony claims the quality of the service and that “sophisticated matching algorithm” and personality analysis, are so worth it…

Good News- Bad News

Shortly thereafter, you receive an analysis of your personality and a description of your “perfect mate”. Okay. Most of us are seduced by flattery and eHarmony will send pages of prose extolling your virtues. You may be honest, loyal, and steadfast like a Boy Scout. Or Eclectic, eccentric and exceptionally unusual. To say eHarmony paints with a broad brush only begins to describe the way they analyze your attributes. Bottom line? We all want to see a long list of perfect match -Prince or Princess Charmings. In the TV ads, couples evidently connected at breakneck speed. There seemed to be a lot of happily- ever- after- going on, right?

Hurry Up and Wait

Then, much to your chagrin, you learn what the term ‘glacially slow’ means. A glacier moves one tiny fraction of a millimeter of an inch every several thousand days – just like eHarmony. Okay, so my exact glacier mass measurements are fiction — but the fact that eHarmony is slow is pure fact. Be prepared to wait, for a very long time.

Just like Christmas Morning

Anne, an eHarmony escapee and one of the Yoga Babes said this about her so-called perfect matches: “One man lived 95 miles away and was three inches shorter than I am in my stocking feet. Lauren, a cattle rancher near Reno liked chess and NASCAR. Me? Not so much. He was ten years older than I am. Next, Frank of Santa Rosa (doesn’t anybody live in San Francisco?) was a pilot, a triathlete and made his own tofu. Granted, I have a preconceived notion about triathlons and I won’t try an athlete who trains 20 hours a week.

I want a guy who likes to walk on the beach, not swims to Alcatraz; I like taking a leisurely ride through Golden Gate Park; not at breakneck speed.

The final ‘exact match’, or so they claimed, was Roland from Fresno. He liked cigars, port, his Bible and his six greyhounds- dogs, not buses. My allergies kicked in, just reading his profile. We didn’t have a thing in common. So, what I hoped would be like ‘Christmas morning’ was more like three lumps of coal. I quit after one month of disappointment. I’m now on Match.com and happier with the results.”

Worth a Try?

One size does not fit all and there are tens of thousands of very happy members on eHarmony. The website is a treasure trove of opportunities. You can order flowers, Fandango tickets, buy insurance, and, yes even  prescription drugs and there are pages and pages of pretty mild dating  advice. Seriously. It may be a perfect fit for your lifestyle and expectations.

You don’t know until you’ve done some research. Have fun on the quest.

What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?” Vincent van Gogh

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Top Ten Places to Meet Women in San Francisco

Where do you meet women in

                                         San Francisco?

Here are The Top 10 Places to Meet Women…

1. De Young Museum at Golden Gate ParkFriday Night Events   Just being there is a natural way to encounter a kindred spirit. All it takes is to nonchalantly comment on a painting, sculpture – the music -you are both admiring.

2. Trader Joe’s,  Sunday from 7 p.m. to 9 p.m… (and Monday, Tuesday. Wednesday) Cue: ask a question – have you tried this cheese? wine? do you know how to pick out great apples? Smile at people.

3. Lectures: At the  Herbst Theatre, JCC, USF, the Commonwealth Club, Litquake in October, Film festivals, World Affairs Council, etc.

4. Yoshi’s: Music, Restaurant, Bar  So obvious – it speaks volumes.

5. Yoga classes: Hands down this has to be the best place to meet women, odds are generally 10 women to 1 guy… and women have a soft spot in their hearts (or soles ) for a guy who happens to wander into a yoga class. Do a little research and find beginner classes and start there.
You’ll thank me.

6. Bookstores: Hey, it’s where we hang out. Note: 67% of all books are sold to Single Women. You do the math.  Ask a question: “Is this author any good?”    “Do you like ____?” It all begins with a word…a smile…

7. Cupcake Shops: (think “Sprinkles” the famed Oprah Best-Pick genre). Okay, sweetie, so we indulge. Sit down, have a cup of coffee and engage.  Best question to ask? Try  “Which is your favorite?” or   “I want to buy my mom            ( sister, landlady, buddy)  a treat- what you suggest?”

8. Peets: women of a certain age preferred Peets over Starbucks and eschew Formica tabletops

9. Wine Shops: ( Beltrammos, BevMo, Wine Impressions, etc ) Aren’t we all looking for the same thing? A decent Pinot noir and a bon soir?

(I didn’t need to suggest asking a question, did I?)

10. On the Street:   In the elevator, walking into the store, in the well lit, safe, busy, parking lot, on the 38 Geary, after the movie,  at Ocean Beach, at the Sports Basement,  at church,  at dim sum, at Cafe Trieste, sampling at See’s,    wandering the aisles of Safeway, the farmers market, at Best Buy or the DMV …at the library….At any of the 3 the Andy Goldsworthy secret spots…in the waiting room…

Every single day – there are multiple opportunities to say: Hi, Hey, hello…

and the best line ever:

Don’t I know you? ” (really – the best line ever scripted)

 Guys, here’s a little secret... you might be happy with Sunday/Monday Night football, March Madness, the World Series, and the myriad sport shows that are on every day on every channel…
However,  girls, not so much.

Push away from the TV and got outside.

Now~ Get out there and play!

by Michael Rodman SF Artist

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