Dating 101: Should a woman call a man?
Bart is a classic bon vivant. He recently renewed his membership in the Singles World after two, failed marriages (to the same person, in a different body.) We have been friends since college and he is my “go to” guy- when it comes to understanding the male point of view.
Bart talks to his golf buddies, his yoga dudes, and his men’s group: the Manly Men, who go into the woods for drumming and chanting. Their very tongue in cheek, claim to fame is that they are, “The men your mother warned you about.” In reality, this group is all about altruism and supporting worthy causes (Habitat for Humanity, Art in Schools. Glide, St Anthony’s.)
Bart told me his groups of friends usually default to the same three topics each time they get together.
Consistently, Topic #1 Sports, followed closely by
and then the conversation lapses into talking about
#3. Women, (wives, ex-wives, dates, ex-dates and the internet dating scene) …usually, in that order.
Bart came up with the term for his 60-year old pals were dating 30-year-old gals… guys are not called cougars but, they are called: Grand Paws.
Who calls Whom?
A recent Bikrim-hot discussion with the Yoga Babes was all about dating at 50: the protocol re: calling a man or texting him versus waiting by the phone.
Is it proper for a woman to call a man?
The Yoga Babes (nine women, 50% single and 50-ish) were split. Some thought men were ‘hunters’ and women had to wait for the phone call, while others subscribed to the theory that life is short, why stand on antiquated protocol?
Bart said men are flattered by the attention of a phone call from a woman, however, it is deeply ingrained in their DNA, no matter how charming and flirtatious an initial phone call, it might be construed as aggressive. Really? Can you spell antediluvian? Bart, Bart, Bart, wake up to 2013.
Wrong number. What kind of guy is intimidated by or freaked out by a phone call? A followup random poll taken at three San Francisco hot spots – Swank, the Slanted Door and Original Joe’s – came up with a resounding, “Yes! Tell women to call the guy. We love it!”
If I haven’t made it clear: Bart is not a Neanderthal, he is pretty evolved. This time, I will ‘include him out.’
And, majority rules. If you are thinking about calling a man – to say, ” Hi,” or to ask him if he wants to go for a walk, a hike, for a cup of coffee, – carpe diem, darlin-
What do you think? Shoot me a comment…email@example.com