Are you striking out with every date?
Abbott and Costello’s rapid-fire baseball comedy bit: Who’s on First? is a perfect metaphor for the dating game. In romance and in baseball there are wins, losses, slumps, night games and home runs.
After you’ve connected with someone online, expect: The Formula. This is where you each exchange three e-mails, followed by a phone call. A few phone calls, generally 2.5, (one message left on answering machine) may be followed by a text message or one more email. Then it happens: the line drive, maybe a double play: the coffee shop quickie where you size up one another.
Some first daters bring a mental yardstick and quickly assess the other person. Hank is a classic measurer-upper. An engineer by profession, Hank was used to the facts, just the facts ma’am. From the moment he shook hands with a woman he had romanced on the phone and via e-mail, he was calculating. It took quite a few dates and many calculations before Hank realized the ‘Velveteen Rabbit’ was a better fit for him than a Playboy bunny. Quality start.
Debbie D. has a different modus operandi. At least twice a week, the staff at Pacific Catch restaurant in the Sunset District watches her meet different men for coffee. The Match.com dating diva has it down to a science. Debbie meets a man online, exchanges emails and eventually, 2.5 phone calls later, agrees to a public meeting. She casually suggests the place near her home: Pacific Catch – note: irony. The two agree upon a time. She arrives 10 minutes early, wearing her uniform: a revealing black lululemon yoga outfit. She carries props: a copy of the New Yorker, her purse and cell phone.
She says she knows within three minutes if the man is a ‘keeper.’ She said if he looks like his picture, measures up to the height he claims, carries on a conversation, she’s interested. The coffee date could be 10 minutes or an hour, depending. Once a serious speedy-serial-dater, Debbie has slowed down and admits to be looking for a man who is “kind, open, available and geographically desirable.’ It works for her. Home run.
Some singles are looking for a goal and a scoring position. Others, shy at first, balk or throw a few fastballs. There is a wide spectrum of dating styles.
You get to decide what works for you. Perhaps the fast and furious Jdate is your style; Plenty of Fish ( the popular free dating site) may be your price range. The giant, user-friendly Match.com might be the right fit.
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