Suddenly Single… Minded

Welcome to the Wild and Whimsical World of Internet Dating

I’m ready for my Last Tango in Halifax, Mr Demille

Lights, Camera, Romance:

The BBC’s ‘Last Tango in Halifax’ has women everywhere swooning.

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  Romance, hope, and optimism are in the air and we are taking in large gulps of same.

The Yoga Babes of  San Francisco unanimously dubbed  Tango/ Halifax with Derek Jacobi  and Anne Reid as “Must See TV.”

They  comment: “Every single (divorced or widowed…) woman we know would love to fall in love with a tender, devoted “Alan,”

he is endearing, playful and kind.”

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Certainly, the BBC series touches upon the lives of Alan and Celia’s adult children and grandchildren – but the spot-light and the real story is the love story of two people falling in love -after a 60 year intermission.

 

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http://www.pbs.org/last-tango-in-halifax/

“Tango in Halifax stars Derek Jacobi and Anne Reid as widowed septuagenarians, Alan and Celia, childhood sweethearts who have been apart for 60 years. Re-united via a social networking site, they meet, fall in love and plan to marry. Reid and Jacobi enjoyed having the chance to play out a love story between older people that was not ageist or stereotyped

.”en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Last_Tango_in_Halifax

 

Season Two … in the wings: Season 2
… the six-part series returns as Alan and Celia continue to negotiate family baggage to plan a life together.

Having come so close to losing each other forever thanks to Alan’s near fatal heart attack, he and Celia decide to have a romantic secret wedding as soon as possible. 

 

 

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Get off the couch and get back in the – social – saddle

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Here are Five Easy Ways
to get ‘Back in the Dating Saddle’  …and ride off into sunset 

  1. You’re not alone.   There are 20+ million singles back in the dating game. Like you, many singles are bored playing Solitaire and are ready to play a rousing game of Hearts. Get out of the house and join a walking, hiking, biking, rowing, kayaking, birding, debate, tennis, ping-pong, or spelunking club. See Meetup.com for hundreds of organizations in your zip code.
  2. Adopt and embrace the C’est la vie Attitude.  You know, life is short and why waste time? Refrain from perching over a phone waiting for it to ring or checking your emails 10 times a day. Your mother was right: “Go outside and play.” It’s up to you – perform the ‘due diligence’ and find out where the action is…
  3. Be Brave   So you are ready to start dating again? Want to get back in the Dating Saddle? There will always be a Greek chorus of friends and family urging you to get back on the horse.  If you have images of a sweet pony ride dancing in your head, be prepared. The 2014 foray in dating is more like the electronic bull you remember from that John Travolta movie, Urban Cowboy.   Best advice: “Better buckle up. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.”  Get in the game and enjoy the new adventures in the unique and novel Date World 2014
  4. Volunteer - check out The Sausalito Art Festival LaborDay Weekend for a very fun time – and check out sporting events, wines tastings, the Presidio, Litquake or theMill Valley Film Festival Festival- all are worthwhile and fun. See San Francisco’s two very popular organizations: St Anthony’ and Onebrick opportunities. Check Craigslist for volunteer listings – do a good deed and meet new people. Volunteers are love in motion.
  5. Your Mother was wrong: Do talk to strangers. Everyday. It’s okay, and heartily recommended that you look them in the eye, smile and say “hi” to five strangers – every single day.” Have fun in the New Year. Start now.

It’s a well-known fact: Dating at 50 is a lot more fun than dating at 20. Think about it: you are more interesting, smarter,  sexier and have way better life’s stories. And, you don’t have to ask your mom to borrow the car. Come on in, the water is delicious.

 

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Note: Women Love Men Who Dance

It’s not a secret: from the Dogpatch to Daly City, the Marina to Mission Street: women all heartily agreed: men who dance are a lot more fun and a lot more interesting.

The Take Away: Gentlemen start your lessons: Take beginner dance lessons, have fun and practice, practice, practice.

Three Local Hot Spots for dancing

Go out in the world and work like money doesn’t matter,   Sing as if no one is listening,    Love as if you have never been hurt, and Dance as if no one is watching”

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Burning Man is too hot for me! Don’t make me go! (Temporary/Rain closure)

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Tribes, trysts and tribulations of seven days in the desert?

Dear Page Larkin

Karyn and I met on Cinco de Mayo.  By June 1, we both ecstatically quit  Match.com and we are totally in love and 100% committed.     There is one small problem: she wants me to go to Burning Man. I’m 45 and I don’t do dust, deserts, or costume or crowds. Help!

San Francisco Frank

Dear San Francisco Frank,

Is this deal breaker or a relationship hurdle? There are myriad websites on prep, packing, planning, playing and staying at the La Playa. For thousands of people, Burning Man is Mecca – for, you and many others, it could be hell. You obviously already know: no way.

 

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50,000 People Can’t be Wrong, Right?

 

Weather Report: Burning Man Cancelled for one day

Nevada’s Black Rock Desert reopened 6 a.m. Tuesday after it was postponed on its opening day

 

 

  Burning Man  located at Black Rock Desert  –   a thoroughly flat, prehistoric lakebed, composed of a hardpan alkali – daytime temps often exceed 100ºF and the humidity is way low.

There’s that. Yes, the week-long event has a reputation for the bizarre (birthday suits, nipple piecing, bacchanalia) and thousands of fans go to Burning Man- every year-  to play in the Playa, to frolic and admire the art. Aficionados know it takes a village to pull off this multi-faceted event. No, this isn’t a romantic spa weekend.

Doing Everything Together?

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One relationship myth is that couples must do everything together.

This might have been the case- say, when you were 20. However, by the time you hit the big 4-0, you begin to appreciate your own space, downtime, private time, as well as  robust romantic relationship time. Talk to Karyn – express your support for her, your concerns and lack of interest. Tell her how you feel, Frank….and

Be happy that Rain Dance you did  worked – Burning Man was postponed…

(and, Tuesday,  the gates are open and the party commences)

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Going Tribal

Steve Jones, famed San Francisco Bay Guardian writer – is a Burning Man savant. He made the rounds with his Chiclets teeth and sparkling blue eyes – promoting his  book all about Burning Man- the history and hysteria – entitled, The Tribes of Burning Man – check it out.

NET YEAR: If your heart-throb is passionate about Burning Man – the least you can do is come up to speed about the event.

Show her you care – enough to research, revel and cheer her on.  

Peace,

Page Larkin

 

“So I took off all my clothes and got into the shower with a man I’d never met before. It turned out to be the best decision I ever made”. She Said – Burning Man 1999

Don’t miss a single Page Larkin column — click the Subscribe button at the top of the page. San Francisco Dating@50 Examiner, Page Larkin, welcomes your feedback, questions and queries at Page.Larkin@gmail.com

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San Francisco: Did the earthquake shake, rattle, and roll? 6.0?

lUUnN7VGSoWZ3noefeH7_Baker Beach-12  Huge earthquake shakes northern California

 At 3:20 AM

Northern Californians were shaken awake with a huge,  jolting earthquake.

According to polls on KCBS Radio the Quake weighed in at 6.0

 A series of jolts scared the living daylights to of tens of thousands…of us…Bay Area residents.

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And, we are all wondering, where is that Earthquake Kit?  

And you can hear the lamentations:

We forgot to update the Earthquake Kit….Where is that water we were supposed to store? Flashlights? Do we have Flashlights?

Put that on “The To Do List.”

( Goodman’s Lumber in Marin County is Mecca for Earthquake Preparedness Kits/Supplies; Costco also has pre made kits)

At first blush, the very sobering, intimidating 6.0 shaker seemed a lot stronger and shorter  than the 1989 Quake. 

As the dust settles:  it appears Napa was the earthquake epicenter and hit the hardest. A sad day.

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Behind the Red Door-Taize-a night to remember

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Date Night Suggestions: Wednesday in San Francisco


Behind the Red Door: Taize at Trinity

You enter the pitch-black, church (Trinity Church)  lit only by a burst of ruby red candles lining the altar and an array of glowing, golden candles flickering on the side altars.

You have found Taize. Pick up a lighted votive candle and a handout. Take a seat in the front of the serene, beautiful, stone church.

The Wednesday 7:30 PM event starts with a reading (it could be from Rumi, Thoreau, Wayne Dyer, the Bible) The exquisite lead singer  may begin with stunningly beautiful, hypnotic chant.

Sometimes the people in the pews are vibrant and other times quiet and meditative. There are no rules.

Sit close and share the candle and chant along with the rapturous singing.

It is truly a night to remember.church

A Love Story: Mr Right in the Laundry Room?

“All things are possible until they are proved impossible —

and even the impossible may only be so, as of now.” — Pearl S. Buck

 

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Sally was 52 and had not been on a date in over four years. She admitted she, “Gave up on the whole dating scene.”

She was busy with friends, family, work and myriad interests. Her best friends were three married couples – they met in college and travelled together once a year. She called them “The Couples.”

Last year, she was on a holiday to Colorado with The Couples.

One night, she was in the public laundry room at the condo.  A guy came in with a ton of laundry to do and they started chatting. Asking the right questions, he found out that Sally from California was single, smart, traveling with friends and easy-going and fun to talk to.

He very quickly put his laundry in the machines and left.

Upstairs, the happily married man with laundry and told his single friend, Casey, to rush down to the laundry room and meet the attractive, single woman there.

His buddy told him to hurry – she was on the spin cycle.

All Casey had was a suitcase full of clean clothes, but he grabbed 10 pieces of clothing and shoved them into the laundry basket. At his friend’s urging – he quickly ran down the hall and, nonchalantly walked into the laundry room.

His opening line was, ”Hey, nice night.” Then he asked inane questions about the change machine location. A big red sign in the corner screamed, “Change machine.”  Casey nervously fed the dollar bills in the machine, got change, and put all this clean clothes in the washing machine.

Wisely, he asked Sally if he should be using hot water or cold for cotton. The conversations commenced. It is easy to go from 100% Cotton to poly blends to hiking, fishing, books, and favorite movies.

Sally thought the guy was cute –although he didn’t seem to know his way around a laundry room. She admits she put extra quarters into the dryer to prolong her stay.

At one point, she went back to her condo, combed her hair, put on blush and lip-gloss and a cleaner, tighter T-shirt. She returned nonchalantly…

Casey was folding his super clean clothes and asked Sally if she wanted to join him for a glass of wine at the pub next door. She agreed, only if he would hike to the end of the property the following morning. It was a date! And then there was another date…and another.

Casey and Sally are now “A Couple” – thanks to a good friend who played Cupid in the laundry room.

Who have you fixed up lately?

Boys, we need to talk – top 5 things women want to hear

Gorilla photo_2Scientists have discovered that each day

men say 1000 fewer words than women.

What are the 1000 words that men don’t say?

Imagine if every man in America started saying more of “The Magic Words”-  what a wonderful world it would be…

A random poll with two dozen women – asking them what were the ‘Top Five Things’ they would like to hear from their boyfriends, dates, lovers, inamorata, beau. The results were startling!

Well, not really.

After a very lengthy discussion – using far more than 1000 words – the conclusion:

The Top 5 Things Single Women Would Love to Hear Every Day

  1. You look fabulous.
  2. How did someone so intelligent, beautiful, and svelte like you ever stay single this long?
  3. Everything you say is fascinating.
  1. You have to be the most amazing, brilliant, sexiest, woman on the planet.

        The BIG one would be :

  1. Good morning, beautiful. Here’s your coffee, just the way you like it. I’ll pick up the groceries and do your laundry. Let me wash your car and fill it with gas, okay? I’d be happy to sort the recycling and take the garbage out, if that’s okay with you.  Shall I make dinner reservations?

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Another Prescription for Joy: using a mere fraction of those 1000 words would be:

“I have a bottle of champagne chilled and we can watch your favorite movie while I massage your feet.  Which chick flick do you want to watch?”

(Envision champagne corks popping, confetti, a balloon drop…)

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Oscar Wilde – using many words- speaks of Talking:

I love talking about nothing. It is the only thing I know anything about.”

“I like to do all the talking myself. It saves time, and prevents arguments.”

Lots of people act well, but few people talk well. This shows that talking is the more difficult of the two.”

Déjà Vu – are all Bay Area single men alike?

cropped-photo_378_20051108-1.jpgWho says all the single guys 50+ in Nor Cal are alike?

 Kitty (57, Napa girl, RN, Pastels painter, Zinfandel fan, Scorpio) has been suddenly-single-again, for three years. Not one to waste time- she dabbled in a half-dozen dating sites including: Ourtime, the Right Stuff, JDate, Match.com – and by big mistake, Adult Friend seeker. (Note: avoid any site with the word “Adult” in the title.)

In the beginning, Kitty surmised there were only 5 Types of Single Men:

  1. I’m So Cool and Single: Perpetually playing the field – for decades.
  2. Recently Widowed: Deer in the headlights: seeking a nurse or a purse.
  3. Recently Divorced: Hungry and hunting – not Good-will-hunting. Dating around and getting horizontal and bed hopping was a major goal.
  4. Kind of Separated: A married man –a wanna be playboy – playing the field and claimed to be doing research. His wife didn’t understand him.
  5. Desperately Divorced – cannot adjust to being single and needs someone to cook, clean, iron his socks, and hand him the remote control.

Here Kitty…

 However, after three “Get Your Dating Mojo Moving” sessions – we amped up her profile and her pictures (no Selfies, please) and Kitty agreed to take off her cynical shroud and get in the dating game. It is all about attitude.

Turn On Your Filter

 Once cynical and very pessimistic, Kitty met a plethora of playboys and dead-end dates. Why? Perhaps her filtering system was on “low.” She had low expectations and took low-to-minimal time getting to know a date prior to their first meeting. We addressed the importance of taking the time to talk to your potential date. (At 57, Tinder/aka Hook ups Anonymous is not your friend.)

Initial phone calls and emails may not be the Holy Grail – however, they reveal a lot about a person. Asking questions and conversing with a total stranger should last way more than ten minutes.

Ask questions, talk on the phone, email one another a few times. Don’t get caught up in a morass of emails. Remember, jumping to conclusions and blithely dating –anyone- can be a waste of time, money, and tough on the self-esteem.

Be patient and have fun out there.

 

“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.”

                                             John Quincy Adams

 

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Suddenly SIngle and Perplexed by this New Chapter?
Want to know more about Page Larkin “Get Your Dating Mojo Moving” sessions?
Drop me a line at page.larkin@gmail.com
 

 

 

 

 

 

San Francisco: Five Summer Fun Ideas

 

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The Top 5 Best Activities to Go, See, and Do in San Francisco this weekend

1. Best Place to be dazzled and see The Masters of Fire Exhibit- Palace of Legion of Honor –  Don’t miss this Stunning Display: Copper-Stone Age (ca. 5500–3500 BC) copper antiquities. Prepare to be dazzled by the amazing array of  relics found in caves in the 1960’s. 

 2. Best Funky Place to Have an Eclectic Cocktail at the Beach: The Riptide  – on the foggiest summer’s day at the beach – you can’t miss the Big Blue Bar at the Beach eclectic and funky and fun- claims to have the best staff, best juke box, best music, best Pacific Ocean view, free street parking; Happy Hour starts at 4pm-7pm

3. Best Place to Hug Tees?  What the FUF? Our Friends of the Urban Forests will teach you “Tree Care” in August . Volunteers welcomed. FUF has lined the streets of San Francisco for decades

4. Best Place to see free concerts on Sunday? Golden Gate Park Band performs 1pm– Speckle’s Band Shell or Stern Grove – arriver early and stake out your hallowed space. Talk to your neighbors – make a friend.

5. Want to be a Streetwalker? Taking it to the Streets: Save the Date August  24 – The Mission – Sunday Streets  is is free for you and me. Ramble, lollygag, linger, meander, skate, cycle, or just enjoy people-watching. You’ll see a little tai chi, some yoga, aerobics, and  people loving a car free calle.  Bring skates, unicycles and bicycles and a sense of yippee- open spaces

 

 

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Best Place to get high in Marin County Really high: San Francisco Sea Plane Ride 

Take a lofty cruise over scenic Richardson Bay  in Marin County and it’s up, up and away! It’s a rush and so romantic

 

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Craigslist Missed Connections- like reading obituaries? Dead ends

sad-manReading Craigslist Missed Connections is like reading obituaries? Look out: Dead end ahead…

Craigslist Missed Connections  a.k.a. “I’m afraid to say “hey.”

 Take a look at “Missed” in any city, and you will see variations of the exact same posts. They  run the gamut from A-B:

I saw you walking down the street- did you see me?’

I saw you on the 38 Geary Bus – I was wearing black tights and a hoodie

You said hi to my dog

I passed by you on my pink bike and smiled at you.

You smiled at me at Safeway (Publix, Piggly Wiggly…)

I stood next to you at Starbucks. I ordered vegan mocha with whipped cream. I know.

I was across the room-reading ‘Goldfinch’ and you smiled.

We both crossed the Bay Bridge at the same time driving blue Prius cars.

You look so hot on Union Square today in those ripped jeans and leather jacket.

We were both crossing Montgomery Street today at 12 noon.

We both ordered turkey sandwiches at the deli on Pine Street today- could this be love?

You walked into Green Apple Books as I was walking out.

 

i-like-youicon-greatOkay, there are two ways ways to play this game.

 You can return to your cubicle – open your laptop and create yet another Craigslist connection haiku, poem, advertisement, and just hope, hope, hope Mr. Right or Ms. Perfect or “the hottie,” or “the hunk” will appear out of the ether.

 Or:   Take this Dating 101 Advice: Stop with “The shy” and start with “The smile and the hello.” Speak!

 Binkie, you are never going to meet anybody by merely smiling- without following it up with the hi, hello, hey, good morning, good afternoon, good night (Truman was right) Speak!

 Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.”   Paulo Coelho

Top 3 Tips  -Best  Free Advice You Will Receive Today

 1. Being wishful and wispy is dead end behavior. Go for Courage. Be audacious. Get some Moxie. Grow some.

  2. The next time someone smiles at you – smile back and say, “Hey” or “Wait up” or “What’s up?”

 3. Big Tip: Introduce yourself and start a conversation.

 

And, you will never have to look at Missed Connections again.fireworks celebration 2

 

“Courage and coward are only a page away in the dictionary. Courage comes first.” P. Larkin

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