Annie, divorced and single long enough – decided to try online dating. Filled with optimism and excitement, she proceeded. After two days, she found there were “Five Kinds of Guys with Issues” she avoided.
1. The Grump: This dictator writes: “Your picture better be from this year; your height and weight had better be accurate-mine is! Or: “I’m active and virile, I only date younger women.” (Better living through chemistry Mr. Smart and 70?) or: “Don’t be an empty nest whiner looking for me to cheer you up”.
Dear Mr. Grump:Please go out for a run; meditate; write poetry; ride your bike on Baby Heads Hill… Chill. Using your one chance to impress a woman and sounding like a grumpy old man is a surefire buzz kill. Ciao, adios, see ya!
2. Mr. “Must Have” Shopping List Maker Annie noticed that many men had “shopping lists” when it came to the woman they wanted to date…
Some of the “Must Have Shopping Lists” read like this:
- You must like the great outdoors and camping and bonfires,
- You must like putting on a little black dress and go dancing with me,
- You must like entertaining my friends and being spontaneous
- You must be ready to leave on an trip at the drop of a hat;
- You must better prefer me over your friends;
- You better like jogging, sailing, biking, hiking, and kayaking, spelunking…
- You must be a tomboy not “a girly girl”
You Must Be Kidding
#3 Mr. Rambler- He writes and writes – ad nauseam; extolling his virtues, attempting to be clever and witty, enumerating his degrees, experiences, education, homes – in the past 40 years. Note : After the third paragraph, certainly most women would defer to Too Long To Read. Remember: Brevity is the soul of wit.
#4. Mr. I’ve Got Nothing: So I’ll show you bunch of pictures. This man, not a writer, decides to overcompensate and post 20 pictures of the great outdoors: sky, sea, birds, rocks, and trees. This buzz kill ploy is deemed very boring. And, posting photographs of yourself as a child, or with your 10 best friends or you clad in sunglasses and a hat? Don’t even think about it. Call all of the above a dead-end street. Ask a friend, neighbor, child to take 3 good photos of you.
Note: Hire a writer to help you.
#5. Mr. So What if I live 3000 Miles Away-you are cute. Annie was astounded by the number of men who lived on the East Coast or Seattle or Albuquerque who wanted IM or Skype with her. Chances of impetuous coffee date, a walk along the water, with somebody in Seattle/San Diego – not going to happen. Sorry, Charlie.
Chip and Skip, two randy bachelors in Seattle, claim the women in San Francisco are all prettier, thinner, healthier than their Seattle sisters. So these two guys troll the 94127 zip code hoping to IM or Skype their California dreaming girls. Good Luck with that.
No Grumps Allowed; No Goofy Pictures with sun glasses and hats; No College Essay length postings bragging about your myriad accomplishments; No Ex-bashing – or Bragging…
Try Succinct, Sweet, Kind – It worlds every time, with the right person.